VERONICA LEE

Ah... the complexity of being utterly human with enough consciousness to know just how flawed we ALL are. The "greater" the consciousness (awareness) the greater the capacity to see all the nuances that make up the human being. And, as those who are traveling a path toward understanding and loving self and others, we STUMBLE. Often. And it usually hurts.
 
Part of this "pain" is KNOWING that we are paradoxically PERFECT and IMPERFECT and that we - as humans - tend to screw up and then judge (whether judging another's screw up or our own). And something about this just doesn’t sit well with a conscious mind. Because what - after all - does it mean to screw up in the first place? Mistakes indicate a "right" and a "wrong." And again there lies a paradox since the "spiritual truth" is there is no duality (and likely no absolute "truth").
 
Most spiritual seekers understand we are one collective body and there is a longing to be in harmony with the whole. But sometimes - just like our physical bodies - the mouth wants something that ISN'T good for the digestive system. Often there are "conflicts" within the organism that should support the one. Doesn't this seem counter to a Universal wisdom?
 
Our bodies "fail" us with dis-ease. Our minds have conflicting thoughts... dark ones, altruistic ones. Our ego is both helpful (preserving the system as a whole) and easily crosses the line to selfishness. But WHERE is that line? Who is the judge of the line?
 
So we shrink back in shame and sometimes despair, not just in fear of making mistakes, but because we inherently LOVE the whole. And often the individuals that make up the whole (or at least we want to) and we simply, sincerely don't want to cause harm.
 
Our souls are inherently perfect and loving. And through spiritual unfoldment (a natural process) we want that harmony within and around us in this third-dimensional experience. So we strive, we test the waters, we experiment with leaning into our part in the process and we "fail" at something along the way. Oh, but then we remember that it is all an illusion and go lick our wounds, and perhaps the wounds of others. Or maybe we’ve dedicated years to healing the sick and wounded and we wonder and cry for the depths of the human wounds.
 
For those who are ultra-sensitive, we deeply feel all of it and this can be overwhelming. Again, the intention was never to add harm. Like a child in a play yard, we simply wanted to engage in this Earthly experience.
 
Intention or not, accidents and harm happen. And this is what we must face: the inevitable "ugliness" of life. Flowers die, fruits whither, branches fall and injure people, words intended to help cut like knives.
 
Do we retreat in mediation to "fix" ourselves? Do we take another course in x, y or z? Do we stop helping those who trust and admire our ability to meet them – human to human – because we are imperfect and have the capacity to harm?
 
We could. It certainly feels safer. It’s the thought that counts, right?
 
So the question becomes, "How perfect or spiritually aligned must I be in order to share my gifts with others?"
 
Unlike romantic relationships, the stakes seem to be higher in this arena. Expectations for being perfect beings go through the spiritual roof! How can we ever live up to this tall order even if we did make a soul agreement to help humanity before we incarnated?
 
“Great or small,” each of us is playing a role in this big cosmic game of life. We can take it "serious" and really strive to be "better" than we were yesterday… oh, but better indicates some kind of evaluation. Who is the evaluator again? God? Source? The All That I AM? So does that mean me?
 
And what was the point of this game? Do we take it all in casually and play merely for the sake of our own enjoyment? Do we compete? Cooperate? Create? Co-create? Win? Lose?

​Is game just a metaphor? Isn’t this an illusion? A matrix? A cosmic reality show? And who is directing all this?