Awakening... Forgetfullness... Life

Waking... waking... waking...

How can one awaken if in reality there is only the awakened state?

Sometimes I feel myself as a huge being of light with infinite wisdom.  Other times I am a struggling mother with a flabby belly and a messy home.

Of course, I know I am both... all.

Yet, the reality is that this reality is a tricky one.  It is so full of potential, that somehow I have created an entire story and made it real.  Wow!  Now that is powerful.

Yet, the truth is, I don't exactly remember how I did this.  Oh, yes, I know people claim to know the "secret," but I don't.  Well, I only have a vague memory of the plan, the workings, the so-called truth.

I have chosen to stay asleep to this, however, and I yearn to awaken.  Or do I?

Isn't this the glorious experience?  To know, but forget you know, and then try to remember?

In the meantime, I am learning to cherish the forgetfulness.  To laugh, to play, to be perfectly human.  Sometimes the mommy struggles, sometimes she soars.  Sometimes the belly squeezes itself into a tight pair of jeans, sometimes it is caressed with love and kindness.  Sometimes the house is messy and chaotic, sometimes it is the center of the Universe, filled with love and life and everything outside it disappears completely.

Hm.... a strange, yet fascinating experience full of air, water, earth and fire.  The elements of life itself. 

Am I awakening?  Maybe I have awakened.  I seem to know the basics.  Perhaps this is good enough.