Conscious Allowing

In a culture of deeds and doers, it seems a bit – or even extremely – passive to simply allow.  Allow what? Allow the hungry to starve? Allow an abusive relationship to continue? Allow my house to get messy and taxes to go unfiled? Our fear-based egos start to drum up all kinds of scenarios to demonstrate the harm in allowing.
 
So let’s go there…. Let’s sit with this fear of allowing before we proceed.
 
Our first instinct is to equate allowing with not doing, right? And “not doing” is not a fruitful option in many areas of our lives; we get bad grades when we don’t do our homework, get fired when we don’t do our jobs, or lose relationships when we don’t engage in them.  Yet, deeper than our discomfort with living in an embarrassingly messy home, or our fear of having the IRS levy our bank accounts, there is a core fear in allowing.
 
Sadly, many of us have experienced the pain and helplessness of being a victim. As children, we were powerless over the situations and adults in our lives, and most of us had crucial experiences that hurt us in some way. In order to protect ourselves and assert our power we learned to do – and sometimes overdo – in order to navigate our way from victimhood to feeling more in control.  It is clear that many of our personal actions have led us to where we are now. We see the correlation between action and consequence.
 
Yet, a common pattern that develops as we grow spiritually is many of our willful efforts and attempts to maintain control become increasingly less effective. It is in this way our higher soul is inviting us to allow.
 
For many, being the “good girl” or doing the “right thing” leads to a life of monotony, limitation and unfulfilled potential. Again, the dualistic mind assumes the implication here is to be “bad” or do the “wrong thing,” but this is a matter of perspective. We have let society, our parents, and others we hold as authority figures define the boundaries of what we should be doing with our lives, and how to do them.
 
So, now let’s practice a bit of conscious allowing.
 
Take a moment to relax, breathe deeply, focus on your heart, and feel into the statement: I have let society, my parents, and others define what I should be doing with my life, and how to do them.
 
What comes up for you? If inspired, write down your response. Or simply allow this experience to unfold a little longer before moving on. You may notice:
 
Conscious allowing is as simple as creating the space in the present moment to experience what is.
Even though our thoughts may go wild, confusion or feelings begin to arise, or that “I must try harder” impulse stirs up some anxiety, if we stay present, using the support of our breath and the openness of our heart, we can allow all of it… thoughts, feelings, confusion, agitation, surrender. Whatever is.
 
Allowing offers an alignment with our essence, an expansion of trust, and carries a sublime awareness of Universal Perfection.
 
In life and along our spiritual path, we encounter things that are unfamiliar and uncomfortable, and allowing can be one such thing. And though we may intellectually comprehend the notion of allowing, our souls will prompt us to experience it in deeper ways. Oftentimes, this comes in the form of crisis.
 
Our normal reaction to crisis is, “What can I do?” With clear reasoning and responsible actions, we can positively impact the situation, even if we can’t completely resolve it.  Clearly, doing can be extremely beneficial, but when we believe we will gain 100% control over an issue (and the people involved) with action alone we have fallen into a trap of the ego.
 
In addition to our reliance on doing, those of us who have spiritually embraced the “Law of Attraction” often find ourselves conflicted when life doesn’t go our way. Rather than recognizing this as a chance to allow, we resort to self-blame. I must not have visualized clearly. My negative thoughts are blocking me. I’m not enlightened enough. As these beliefs imply that even more action is required of us, our angst intensifies!
 
Part of releasing our ego-driven practices is shifting the ego’s understanding of the Law of Attraction. In reality, attraction entails allowing.
 
Admittedly, the Law of Attraction is a fun and enticing tool to help us understand our true power. Novice spiritual seekers are like children in a candy shop who have yet to understand that just because one can “create reality” doesn’t mean one’s goal is in alignment with the Higher Self. In fact, satisfying the ego’s desires is rarely the path chosen by advanced souls. Generally speaking, our ability to manifest will work for a while, encouraging us to trust our inherent gifts and dig deeper into our soul. Yet, as we evolve, merging with our collective ascension, creating from the ego becomes ineffectual. Thus, when our manifesting skills diminish, we are ready to master allowing.
 
Although we can choose to learn the art of allowing any time, life challenges offer down-to-earth opportunities to practice it.
 
With our fixation on actions and control, plus our right versus wrong primal thinking, allowing can feel counter-everything that’s been tried and true. Yet, by taking baby steps to practice this cathartic skill we open ourselves to the freedom and joy our souls envision.
 
Allowing may not be easy, but it is always accessible and begins with choice.
If you are ready to experiment, or your soul is coercing you with interesting circumstances, or if you tend to over-give, here are some ways you can open to conscious allowing:

• Objectively look at your life, your choices. Notice the areas in which you feel constricted and stuck and where you feel expanded and joyful. Look deeper into the “why’s.”
• Use meditation, a good therapist, a 12-step recovery program and/or inspirational self-help books to support your intention to learn how to let go, trust in Divine flow, and mindfully practice allowing.
• Breathe. Use deep breathing to restore your connection to your center.
• Put your needs first. Ask, “Is my support of this person/situation in my highest good?” Then pay attention to the answers your body gives.
• Notice thoughts or emotional reactions that make you feel “obligated” or “responsible” for others or for doing that which you really don’t want to do.
• Let things (especially things you try to control) fall apart. Don’t do what’s expected of you. Give yourself the space to feel the emotions and fears that arise. Observe the falling apart.
• Do nothing. Go sit in nature and just be.
• Practice presence without judgment.

 
At a time when our world seems to be spinning faster, and doing more is constantly expected of us, slowing down and learning to allow are essential to our peace of mind and lightness of soul. As well, learning to allow is a fundamental step toward personal empowerment. As we evolve – shifting from a mindset focused on external control to one rooted in inner empowerment – our conscious practice of allowing will help us cultivate deep-seated contentment and joy, which positively affects the vibration of our collective reality.

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This article, re-titled "The Conscious Allowing," was featured in the April 2016 issue of OM Times Magazine