The Last Time I Told a Lie

The last time I told a lie, I think, was just a moment ago. You see, my mind lies. It has created a structure called reality and I adhere to its confines.

"I'm not powerful," I think... oh-so subtly. And then I act - or do I not act? - to affirm this lie.

My heart, my soul aim to speak truth. It pushes through my dreams, my visions and even has a placeholder on my knowing.

But the lie persists, convincingly.

"Look!" it exclaims, "there is evidence all around you! Just look at your life! Does that exemplify power?"

Shame wells, as do invisible tears. "I hear you," I whisper, my gut wrenched in dreams undigested.

A breath. My soul reminds me to breathe. "Breathe deep," it beckons soothingly. "Remember who you are."

I soften, just for a moment, drawing in the air - my innermost element - until it grounds me. My mind hushes for the smallest of instants. "Remember," I hear.

Another breath, my heart searching for counter-evidence to atone any semblance of unworthiness.

Stories flash across my mind. "Oh, look! There's your mother. She was strong. She was powerful. She birthed you into her powerful shadow, nurtured you to cultivate your own."

"I remember," I offer softly.

The mind is ruthless. Hard evidence. It presses me with a stare that burns and frightens.

"Breathe in that fear," I hear from my soul. "Take it in, allow it to show itself to you." So I draw in another breath, fire still burning deep. "Use the fire!" she whispers.

With air and fire, I have gathered two elements. Two sacred aspects of my being.

"Do I fight?" I wonder.

"No, simply soften... draw in what you resist."

Laughter booms from the lie! "Are you really going to believe all that shit? Fire and air?"

"And water," offers my soul. "Let your tears flow, my dear. Let them go."

A warmth fills my eyes, my chest tightens in resistance.

"Let go," she beckons.

Against my pride, the tears flow. My face is wet and warm and salty.

"Yes," she says. "Can you taste the salt?"

I nod gently.

"Ground your body, taste the salt and know your power."

My mind, confused, has no idea what to do with all these elements, with these emotions.

The lie dissipates.
For now.

In this moment I have surrendered to the truth. The truth of my soul, my humanity, the exquisiteness of being perfectly human. And, yes, even powerful.

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