What's stopping you from making that change?

For many, the restrictions of the pandemic have forced us to examine our lives. Whether we have been shut out of our in-person jobs, shut in with our families underfoot, or have had to disconnect from our normal activities, this time of “isolation” has offered us a thought-provoking mirror. Most notably, the reflection of how we spend our time - which paves our life direction - is staring accusingly at us with, "Well, is this working for you? Is this what you truly want?"
 
Regardless of pandemic restrictions, it is helpful to face these questions with willingness and wonder. Use the opportunity to think of possibilities, have conversations with loved ones, imagine where you'd rather be, what your life would look like in ten years from now. Ask yourself, “What will my life FEEL like if I keep doing exactly what I am doing for the next five years? Am I living in joy? Is my life fulfilling and aligned with my soul?”
 
Provoked by our collective predicament, our souls are longing for us to reconnect with meaning and joy, and take the steps to create the life we really want.
 
Yet we often meet these soul stirrings with hesitation, concern, and a plethora of “good reasons” to keep our status quo, even if we are miserable. The biggest obstacles we face, when contemplating significant life changes are:

• Practicality – the need to be "stable" and keep everything in place
• Fear – of the unknown, change, wrong decisions, and oh my!
• Uncertainty – lack of clarity about what to do, need for assurances
• Lack of Confidence - Who, me? I can't do that, can I?
• Lack of Support – little or no encouragement or guidance, not enough-ness
• Concern of Hurting Others – If I make this change, how will it affect them?
• Belief in Permission – waiting for a green light from the universe or others
• Disconnection from Soul Purpose – uncertainty of self, purpose or direction, loss of joy

 
Let’s take a look at each one and, in doing so, perhaps do a bit of inner reflection.
 
Practicality
Many highly practical people box themselves in to mediocre contentment that feels comfortable to the mind but lacks heart-luster. Oftentimes they build for safety, and eventually hit the wall of boredom or dissatisfaction. Then guilt (and worry) arises when they think of venturing out. Why rock the boat?, they insist, and tighten the anchor.
 
Examine your need to stay within the confines of practicality. Likely you are far safer than you recognize; you’ve got security blankets galore and can probably cut some up to make that quilt you’ve always envisioned.
 
Fear
Fear is a biggie and can keep one spinning for decades, finding different concerns and scenarios along the way. There is always something to fear. And, for the most part, our fears are simply fears. We meet life’s challenges and usually survive them. Sometimes we emerge wounded and need healing, but - as they say - stronger than our fear.
 
Whether it’s “False Evidence Appearing Real” inciting you to “Forget Everything And Run” or you believe “For Everything A Reason” and choose to “Face Everything and Rise,” the choices in perspective and action are always yours. How would your life change if you faced your fears instead succumbing to them?
 
Uncertainty
The human condition appreciates, even thrives on, certainty. Sleep patterns, the seasons, our daily routines are some areas where predictability and consistency hold us tenderly. Uncertainties feel uncomfortable. We don’t like things being too different from our comfort zone, especially the unexpected. Though we can make conscientious decisions and plan well, there are always uncertainties that hover in the ethers and may even materialize.
 
But even with life’s regularities, there can be sleepless nights, summer storms and startling events. And more often than not, we cope and adjust. We’re resilient that way. Think about your own resilience, especially over this last year’s pandemic.
 
Lack of Confidence
Confidence spans a spectrum for many people, depending on the area. One who is confident at work can be insecure in relationships, for example. Confidence corresponds to our experience, practice, success, and our insecurities. Unless we are forced to do something, sometimes our lack of confidence obstructs action, even if that action offers positive results.
 
As toddlers, we learned to walk. We fell, we tried, we got up and continuously practiced until we became confident walkers. Your confidence can grow, but you need to try things (and fail) and practice repeatedly in order to develop.
 
Lack of Support
Unfortunately, not everyone has a good support system. Parents, spouses and friends may have good intentions and still not be able to support you appropriately. And, even money challenges can make you feel unsupported by life or our system. Not feeling supported can trigger primal fears, insecurities and feelings of unworthiness.
 
Yet, if we feel the earth under our feet, we know the planet literally supports us. Additionally, we can find ways to gain support from spiritual or community groups, mentors, therapists, and more. Learning to ask for and accept support is also important. You are absolutely worth it!
 
Concern of Hurting Others
When we grow and change, we sometimes discover that we fall out of sync with those around us – or worry about it. We believe that changing “too much” will result in loss and hurt, and our fear of abandonment or leaving someone behind can keep us put.
 
A powerful mantra to affirm is, “When I do what is in my highest good, it is ultimately in the highest good of all concerned.” Living this affirmation frees you from holding yourself back in sacrifice of those you love.  
 
Belief in Permission
Do you recognize the subtle ways in which “lack of permission” may hinder you? People who are rule followers or pride themselves on being “good” often wait for “permission” to take major steps, even if that permission is from “The Universe.” Whether permission is direct (getting a promotion from a boss) or perceived (waiting for a series of life’s green lights to proceed), hesitation and holding oneself back because of an underlying belief in permission can be an unconscious roadblock.
 
Notice if you are waiting for permission. Awareness of our patterns is a huge part of shifting them. You do not need permission to be who you incarnated to be or live the life you envision.

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Disconnection from Soul Purpose
The most profound, and likely most confusing, obstacle we face when contemplating life changes, has to do with soul purpose. We can struggle to discern what that is, or deny we have one, or be so locked in to survival that soul purpose seems frivolous. Yet, the heart-longing from going astray and the disconnectedness we feel can be haunting, even debilitating.
 
Simply put, as spiritual-human beings, we are essentially aspects of Love/Light Consciousness (aka Joy). Therefore, aligning with joy - deep soul joy - is our fundamental purpose, but our expressions and creations can vary. In other words, when we set our course to living in joy, we can determine what that looks and feels like, remembering that the journey and destination are equally precious.

This article, a cover feature, can be read on page 132 in the August 2021 issue of OM Times Magazine (subscription required).

Are you ready to transcend obstacles for the sake of soul purpose and joy?