VERONICA LEE

Sometimes we can confuse self care with selfishness. In the world's view, it is not always seen as a positive thing to focus on one's self. "It is better to give than to receive" seems to be so ingrained in our thought pattern, that if we do allow ourselves to receive, we can often feel guilty for doing so. In the least, we usually put a cap on our receiving and self care allowance.

When times are tough, one of the first things to get wiped off our budget and to-do list is self care."I don't have time for that right now!" or "I don't have any extra money to do things for myself," are common reactions when facing life's challenges.

Yet, taking time and care for ourselves during such challenges can not only make them seem less challenging, it can also help preserve our bodies, minds and spirits for a full and healthy life. And, if we choose, self care doesn't have to cost much time or money at all; it can simply become a way of life.

Unfortunately, many people are so disconnected from themselves that they have no idea of what they may want or need. Others seem to be hard-wired to only giving that receiving (even from themselves) is a foreign concept altogether. So how can one begin focusing on self care?

One of the most valuable concepts around basic self care has been offered through various 12 step programs, such as Alcoholics Anonymous, which encourages us to "H.A.L.T."  We often resort to self defeating behaviors (addictions, negative thinking, lethargy, and depression to name a few) when we either get too Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired. Thus, paying attention to these fundamental vulnerabilities is a great place to begin a journey into self care.

Try not to get too:

1. Hungry - Eat. Nibble on healthy snacks throughout the day. Be sure to pack a lunch, or think of when and where you will eat each of your meals today. Also, drink plenty of water.
2. Angry - Breathe. Take a deep breath and focus on your heart. Call a friend to vent. Contact your therapist. Go exercise. Make yourself laugh out loud as if you are acting until you can't help but really laugh.
3. Lonely - Reach out. Contact someone who makes you feel good. Go to a group, meeting, class, church or even a public park. Connect with your animal companions. Volunteer at an elderly home or other organization.
4. Tired - Sleep. Nap. Be sure to get an adequate amount of sleep at night. Don't expect too much out of yourself if time is limited. Toss the to-do list or delegate. Find quiet space to simply be.

Basic self care can start with simply tuning into your body and emotions then finding ways to meet your own basic needs. This is far from selfish; self care refreshes and revitalizes you and allows you to be in a better space to interact with the world. 

Sometimes we spend all of our time and energy trying to "manifest" something that we really want only to discover all those "laws of attraction" repelling our very desires! What is one to do when the tools of manifestation are broken? If we do our part to follow spiritual laws, then why doesn't Spirit abide by them as well?

From the simplistic human experience, we can often fall into the realm of victimhood. "Life is so unfair! Things never go my way!" The law of attraction can be like "Big Brother" watching and listening to every energetic thing we feel, think and say, then abundantly showering us with our greatest fears.

Yet, as we mature and recognize our power as human-spiritual beings, we can begin to realize some of our affects on our reality. As we become more conscious of what we feel, think and say, we can make more conscious choices in our lives and thus "attract" more of the things we desire. The ability to create our reality builds our confidence and life becomes a bit more joyful and easy.

This, unfortunately, is just a phase in the initiation process as we fully awaken to our grandness! In other words, once we have "mastered" this level of manifesting, we will be ready for losing our powers once again. Many of us are now experiencing this newest challenge on our journey.

We likely have spent countless hours visualizing, affirming, and even "knowing" that what we want (money, a perfect relationship, a joyful career) is ours NOW only to manifest an abundance of frustration, disappointment and a lack of faith. As our finger tries desperately to touch the object of our desire, it slides away like mercury (whom, by the way, is a messenger!).

What has happened in this evolutionary phase is that we have allowed our ego to call the shots. We have confused manifesting from the ego's perspective with manifesting from our soul's perspective. At this juncture, it is time to learn the art of allowing.

When we are continuously denied that which we think we want - especially once we have "mastered manifesting" - feelings of failure and unworthiness arise. This is good, since our newest "lesson" is to truly embrace and know our unconditional worthiness. It also gives us a chance to renew our faith in life, in Spirit and in ourselves.

When we repeatedly get denied that which we think we want, this oftentimes leads to a reevalution of that which is vitally important in our lives. We begin to learn the virtue of surrender, willingly or not, and acceptance becomes a stepping stone.

Our ego has a chance to soften and our soul's wisdom will remind us that we are co-creators, not the One "in charge." In fact, this grasping energy of controlling everything is part of what we are ready to release.

Allowing can be a challenge, indeed, but so was the notion of manifesting at one point on our human-spiritual journey. If you think about it carefully, however, it is actually quite simple because all you need to do is allow and let your soul and the Universe work together to bring you what is buried deep in your heart - your true self - where joy and ease reside.

A sleek red car curved around the freeway off ramp until the loop ended at a “T”.  It tightly hugged the corner of the stop sign as it signaled to turn right. The car moved, but – both swift and awkward – it made a sharp left turn instead. Within a few yards, the driver swooped the flashy car into a gravel spot of emptiness and parked – a sure sign she was lost.

Perhaps she had an old-fashioned paper map, some scribbled directions, or maybe even one of those high tech GPS systems. Maybe she simply pulled out her cell phone to connect with someone waiting at her destination. Though she was lost – and the likelihood of one of her resources would get her to where she was heading soon enough – it was certain she knew where she wanted to go.

Life offers us a multitude of sign posts when we are lost, but what do we do if we don’t even know where we want to go? Does anyone take Sunday drives any more, just for the sake of the scenery? In today’s world, most of us only embark on journeys to get somewhere specific.

Right now in our lives we are finding more and more reasons to feel lost. Many of us have lost our jobs, marriages, houses, and even our identity. So, as logic would have it, we start to seek out resources – guidance, support, information, and so on – only to discover the discomfort in no longer knowing where we want to go!

Oddly, perhaps, things you thought you wanted are suddenly appearing along your path, but you may now lack the finances, time or even desire to pursue them. Why is this? We have spent most of our lives wanting, planning and moving toward our desired destinations, utilizing whatever resources we could to get “there.” We had a sense of direction and, thus, purpose.

In our current spiritual shifts, however, our windows to our future seem to be fogging up and that darned defroster isn’t working anymore! We not only can’t see our way, but when we pull over to evaluate our next turn, we realize we somehow lack the inner drive to get anywhere because the fuel of desire is on empty.  

At this part of your journey, perhaps you sit and rest and allow yourself to go nowhere at all. Simply enjoy the quiet time in your own vehicle as throngs of cars whiz by while you forget about getting “there” and experience your time being “here.” Maybe you find the local Starbucks and take in an iced tea or coffee (since they are on every street corner, you can always find one!). Why feel a sense of urgency when you have no clue where you are going? What would you be late for, anyway… your own life?

Your life is happening now. It is the uncertainty, the rest, and the cup of tea, not just the final destination.

There are really only a few places we drive to anyway; an obligatory errand, a desired destination that we’ve selected, or a place we have been invited to attend. Given that we are well stocked in the errand category, and the desired destination is unclear to us right now, then maybe the Universe is offering each of us an invitation… or will be soon.

In order to receive an invitation and attend an affair, we need two things; to be receptive and available. So, rather than worry and hurry into the future without a clue, perhaps we clear our calendars and wait for our invitation to arrive. As we experience more of the now – the present – we gain trust that the Universe only offers invitations to the most grand of events. And, to think, we don’t even have to go out and buy that present to attend the occasion of our lives! ​

​The word judgment can feel like a loaded word, and rightly so, because judgment can weigh us down if we have emotional attachments to whatever judgments have been made by ourselves or by others. One day our words may have less duality and charge in them. For now, however, there are very few words (especially words associated with spirituality) that reflect neutral experiences and expressions of life, much less words that are free from connotations. Thus, judgment as a word and as a verb express this duality in our language and our world.

We use our judgments to make choices, and if we experience desired results, we conclude we made the "right" decision and likely feel good. Conversely, if our results are not what we expected or wanted, we usually assume we made the "wrong" choice and negative feelings can consume us.

If we choose, we can learn to perceive all choices as neutral. Conscious or not, we make choices at each moment in our lives (even if we don't choose anything at all) and we experience the consequences of our decisions. Most of what we experience in our instantaneous and on-going cycle of judgment-choice is actually quite neutral, leaving us with little or no feelings regarding it, and the pattern goes unnoticed.

You can brush your teeth before your shower, during or after it. You can wear the comfortably worn outfit or the newer, crisper one. You can pet your dog before your cat notices, or put your dog outside and spend a few minutes caressing your cat.  

Choices, like which handrail we hold when we go down the stairs, usually don't have a great impact in our lives. Yet, when we encounter what we think is an "important" decision, we assume there is a "right" or "wrong" way to proceed. We make a judgment, a choice, and hope we picked the correct option. And, because we have a vested interest, we probably have an emotional attachment to the outcome.  

If our results are favorable, we experience good feelings and continue down our paths with gratitude. If, however, unpleasantries result, we can find ourselves feeling bad about our choice and bad about ourselves. Sure, we may wonder and worry about others judging us too, but it's our self-judgment that affects us most.

What if we simply saw everything we did through the eyes of neutrality? What if we plainly remarked, "Interesting," with no judgmental thoughts or opinions about the choice, the end result, or ourselves? This does not imply this is a more "noble" or "correct" way of perceiving, merely a "what if?"

If we began to make our choices without the hooks of "right" or "wrong" embedded in them, then the experience each choice leads to could be just that... an experience.  Maybe even an interesting one.

Many years ago, I read a book by Sarah Ban Breathnach called Simple Abundance: A Day Book of Comfort and Joy, and absolutely loved it. It was a time in my life when I felt like I didn’t have very much, but desired desperately to feel abundant. In times of economic uncertainty, we are all feeling those pangs of desire for both simplicity and abundance, I’m sure.

Over the course of mothering my four children, I have found that simplicity actually creates a sacred space for abundance to flourish. I have not had any credit cards since 2000, I don’t have a cell phone or laptop computer, I own a modest TV which is only used for an occasional movie rental (and doesn’t even work for television), and I have gone without a microwave for at least six years. By refraining from some things people nowadays consider “basic”, I have experienced the “comfort and joy” in not having these modern day conveniences. In the simplicity of my lifestyle, it has been easier for me to remember and connect with the things that are truly important to me.

Living without a television in my child-filled home isn’t as difficult as people might think. “What do your kids do?” people wonder. They play, read, go outside, or do nothing at all.  To watch a child be in the nothing at all space can be uncomfortable for adults who are so used to doing, doing, doing in the name of productivity.  Yet, it’s in the nothingness that all things are born. With the simplicity of space and imagination the world is infinitely abundant in the hearts of children at play.  

What would you do with your time – for relaxation, play or entertainment – if it wasn’t being filled with something that isn’t truly important to you? How does it feel to you to do nothing at all?

Although I may not be able to find a pay phone when I need one, I have found the generosity of strangers instead. Inevitably when I walk into a store, library or other venue and ask, “Is there a pay phone around here?” the person behind the counter offers me his or her cell phone to use. In this way, I have made more than the connection I was originally seeking.

What ways do you most enjoy connecting with others? What would it be like to experience dis-connection for a day or more?  Who do you connect with in your life?

Taking the time to cook our family meals takes no more time than using a microwave. I always found it odd to see the directions for “Microwave Use” vs. “Stovetop” to be only a matter of tiny minutes. The taste (not to mention conservation of nutrients) is worth the wait; it allows time for my children to help set the table before our family sits around it, blesses our food and eats together.

What would it be like to slow down and savor your life?  Who would you spend time with?  What do you bless every day?

In this time of rapid change and uncertainty, we yearn for stability; it’s a natural response. If we remember that true stability is offered by a good foundation, we can begin to evaluate, and perhaps rebuild, the foundation of our lives with things that are most important to us. Whatever we add to the foundation is up to each of us, of course. In my own experience, keeping things simple (by not adding too much) has kept me closer to my foundation – my family – which allows me to feel both its stability as well as its abundance.

What’s most important to you in your life?   What do you want to build on that foundation, and will it bear the weight of what you are adding?  Is there anything you can do to create more stability, or do you notice that it is already strong and abundant? ​

​I surely don’t want to write about fear… I’m too afraid! Geez, what do I have to say about this topic, since, I too am constantly trying to avoid fear?! “Surrender,” I hear, as I begin to write…

As human beings we are hexed with fears! By agreeing to incarnate on Earth, we took on this thing called fear. It has been said that FEAR stands for “False Evidence Appearing Real.” This is fine and dandy when we are talking about monsters under our beds, but what about those REALLY Real fears?

What about Reality?! War! Bankruptcy! Injustices! Betrayals! Survival! 

I don’t have a television, nor do I read any newspapers, or listen to the radio long enough to hear about happenings in the real world – thank goodness! Am I uninformed? Probably. Am I in denial?  Maybe. Is this disconnection from 3-D reality a bad thing?  No – at least not for me.

My primary reason for not staying connected to the world through the media is because of fear! Yes, I am afraid of what is happening in our world, and I am certainly not interested in having my fears amplified with media influences. I have plenty of pesky fears gnawing around my own house, thank you! 

So what do I do to cope with my fears, great and small?  

Empowerment, detachment and surrender are keys to releasing this human experience known as fear. 

Empowerment can come in many forms. When we recognized where we have power and take action accordingly, we can alleviate some of our fears. For some people, media news gives them a sense of what is happening in our world, empowering them with information. Many people are motivated to create changes; perhaps politically, monetarily or through service.  

Personally, I empower myself by NOT receiving information about the world through the media.  I best function and stay empowered by maintaining my connection to the “Higher Realms” through my spirituality. Politically and financially, I support areas that align with my beliefs and pocketbook. In terms of service, I love to empower others, including my four children, so they can live more joyfully and have positive influences in our world.

Clearly, there isn’t one “right” way to empower ourselves, yet it is beneficial to come from a place of Love rather than fear. When we act out of fear, we align ourselves with denser energies (you know, the “lower realms”).

Sometimes it can be hard for us to discern when our acts come from Love or fear.  Do I care for my family out of Love or protect them out of fear?  Likely, we do both. Personal love – for our family, the earth, ourselves – is a more positive impetus than fear. Yet, when we address our fears from a place of personal love, our attachment seeks a desired outcome. Generally speaking, we want to remove the “problem” because we believe it is causing our fears! We can spend a lifetime trying to eliminate our fears through this method.

Love with detachment – a.k.a. Unconditional Love – enables us to live fearlessly in spite of our problems. Through the eyes of detachment we can see a greater picture. This empowers us to remove the hook from our personal agenda and simply witness What Is. Some of us experience this in small instances at unpredictable moments (then, of course, we want to hold on to it!). Achieving detachment takes practice, to say the least. We do not need to become Buddhists to learn detachment, though this spiritual path offers us some enlightening perspectives.

In “reality”, I encounter many issues that try to lure me down the path of fear. Many times I go – dramatically, habitually and, of course, fearfully! Yet, the more I tune into the higher frequencies of Love and Oneness (rather than the media), the easier I find detachment. Yes, I still may need to call a friend, take a deep breath (or two or three) and do some journaling, but I find detachment to be a powerfully comforting tool.

I would like to note, however, that de-tachment implies that there was an attachment. Some day I would like to master non-attachment so I can avoid the hook altogether. In the meantime, I am practicing the art of surrender.

While some may equate surrendering with dis-empowerment, it actually takes a good deal of courage and faith.  Although surrendering may not change or impact the original “problem” or “reality” that prompted our fear, it can help diminish the fear itself. Perhaps we humbly realize that even though we can see a greater picture with detachment, this greater picture is much bigger than our human eyes can behold. We release trying to see it, or understand it. We surrender to it. When we surrender, we move into our fears (not necessarily into the "issue" itself), which gives them less power to frighten us. 

In this rapidly shifting reality, we are facing challenges on many levels. Some challenges we handle with grace, while others rattle our fears to the core.  The Truth is we are human beings trying to re-member Oneness! Ironically, this process scares us. Hidden deep in our unconsciousness, is a tiny “ego” trying to fight for its own survival. It doesn’t know that when it surrenders to the Oneness – to that which most frightens it – it will expand into a Grandness beyond its wildest dreams!  Instead, it is plagued with fear because it doesn’t Trust what Source is trying to bring it.

For the most part, I find that surrender isn’t a one stop completion point; it is often an ebb and flow between my ego and my Soul creating an interesting dance. Sometimes I watch with detachment, other times I join in. What I am learning, however, is that my Soul has much more endurance, smoother steps, and is a better teacher. Plus, it brings me joy to dance with my Soul!  

Whether we are dealing with those pesky everyday fears, or the major catastrophes of living in today’s reality that trigger the REALLY Real fears, if we fully and completely surrender to Trust, we may discover what Source is trying to bring us and perhaps realize there was nothing to fear after all.

Are you willing to expand into a Grandness beyond your wildest dreams? 

“Surrender,” you hear, as you move toward that which most frightens you…
                                                   Maybe you, too, are ready to dance with your Soul.

Sometimes we can get caught up in the day to day doings; we forget about the present moment and lose touch with simply being. Yet, in each moment, we have the opportunity to tap into our own essence and experience our being. This does not imply that we should sit in stillness or in meditation and do nothing else but “be” all the time. However, when was the last time you gave yourself permission to stop and do nothing at all? Or at least slow down and experience what it is you are doing.

Even meditation is initiated by a doing action and can feel burdensome or invoke feelings of guilt if we decide to play the shame game. And, yes, sometimes when we “make” ourselves do something “good” for us, even when we didn’t really feel like it, we experience the joy that comes with the follow through as well as the results of our task. How many times have you found yourself grateful for actually eating all of your vegetables, making your bed or any of those other “shoulds”? Why did you feel grateful; because the task was done or was “good for you”? Or did you enjoy the experience itself?

Unfortunately, there are no hard, fast rules in self care. Generally speaking, we can assume that if we do things that are “good” for us, we will be happier, healthier, and perhaps live longer. Yet, we have all heard stories of the 101 year old man who drank and smoked all his life and loved every minute of it. Fair or not, self care is only an option with no guarantees.

Regardless of the results, perhaps self care or doing things that are good for us can actually offer us something while we are doing it.  In other words, the endeavor can be just as valuable as the end results if we allow ourselves to experience it fully… or shall I say, if we allow ourselves to experience our being while we are doing. By being present with our task, we can deeply connect with ourselves on both a human and spiritual level.

Simply bringing our awareness to ourselves and what we do in each moment is a basic, yet profound, way to indulge in self care and it doesn’t have to take the form of a sitting meditation. So whether you are cleaning your bathroom, running on the treadmill, or brushing your teeth, I invite you to try doing your task with your full attention and see what it’s like …just because.

I learned how to knit about nine years ago. Although I had learned to crochet as a young girl – some very basic patterns, I must admit – I always thought that those two straight needles looked much too complicated to use, so I never had any interest in knitting prior to 2000. Well, that year my oldest daughter started first grade, and learning how to knit is part of the first grade curriculum in all Waldorf schools. Then I thought, “Surely if first graders can learn to knit, I can learn too.” Plus, I wanted to be able to help my daughter in school and this was one skill I hadn’t gotten in my first grade.

Thus, I began my journey into knitting and purling, casting on and casting off, cabling and other complex stitches, not to mention an entire – sometimes overwhelming – world of yarns! My first project was knitting a few cotton dishcloths using wooden needles. Though I had no need for a set of fancy dishcloths, each one offered an interesting pattern for learning. (My children have used those sentimental prototypes many times for playing, but I have never let them get wet much less wash a dirty dish!)

Knitting is a joyful, creative endeavor, allowing me to tap into my passions for color, texture, beauty and form; it can also be soothing with its rhythm, simplicity and order. In her book, The Knitting Goddess, Deborah Bergman gathers together instructions, mythology, projects and advice for knitters, novice and new. Through stories of Goddesses, archetypes and martyrs – such as Isis, Brigit, Rachel, and the Moirae – she traces strands of fiber to find the roots of knitting, weaving spirituality and magic into every page and stitch. As readers we begin to see how deeply our spirituality and human needs have been intertwined and supported by fiberwork around the world for centuries.

As we awaken more and more to our own spirituality and the connectedness of all, I must wonder if this has something to do with the latest resurgence in knitting and its sudden popularity in the new millennium. And, now, as the economy and structures of our current systems begin to shift, I can see the Goddessly wisdom of Bergman’s words a she reflects on the story of Ariadne:

We are waking up at such an incredible rate! This is very exciting!

This weekend, I spoke at the "Children of the New Earth" Conference in Sacramento. It was fairly well attended, considering it was it's first year. Seeing all the people - adults, children, teens - enthusiastically participating, volunteering, playing, presenting, communing and being fully present was heartwarming indeed.

Throughout my talk, I kept feeling the "higher" frequencies expanding in and around me. Whoosh! and I'd feel the dizziness and see other realms. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE washing through my beingness and in and out of my heart.

The most touching part for me, however, occurred when I was serving on the Educational panel. Here, amongst five other enlightened women and an audience of open hearts, I finally felt - for the FIRST TIME in my LIFE - that "we" were actually getting "there!" Or, actually, it felt like others had been able to see and trust the "new" vision, which had been part of my knowing for so long.

This isn't meant to be pretentious in any way... but I am having a hard time describing the feeling I experienced in non-dualistic words or anything like that...

The realization (or "Oh, my God" moment) that I was finally heard and people were finally getting me - well, not just "me", the little ol' Veronica on planet earth - they were resonating with me at a vibrational level.

I wanted to cry! They're awakening! They're really awakening! Oh my God! The deep loneliness that has been buried in my soul for so long felt as if it was going to be a long forgotten sadness someday soon! 

Really? Is this real? I am excited, hopeful, and hesitantly waiting to see if it will actually be...

​We move in and out of consciousness.  We re-member who we are, then promptly forget.  No big deal.  Yet, when we remember, we find and feel a sense of purpose and oneness as well as an order to the chaos.  This feels good to our bodies and souls.  

“How did this happen?” we wonder.  Then, with intention and desire we begin to seek this experience again and again.  Perhaps we find this through meditation, in our connections with nature, or interacting with children.  Maybe we read books that “make sense” to our spiritual selves, or we have someone see something “divine” in us and we want to tap into that something in clear and direct ways.

Our awakening is personal, yet cosmic.  We are individuals making individual choices about our lives on all kinds of levels/planes/realms.  Sometimes we are acutely aware of our choices and how they affect us.  Other times we simply react to life and fall into old patterns.

The interesting piece is this cosmic, or collective, consciousness.  When we re-member who we truly are – a divine expression of “God” (or however else it feels to you) – we understand we are part of something bigger and it includes everyone and everything.  We realize that we are interconnected at such profound levels that no words can actually capture this truth.

Awakening can be quite exciting and, conversely, quite frightening.  There is nothing “wrong” with you if you feel fear during your expansion.  Do you remember being born?  Although parents try to be more aware of the affects of childbirth these days – perhaps they create a quiet, sacred space with low lighting and soft music, etc. – it can still be a frightening experience.  New, unfamiliar experiences can make us feel insecure.

Right now, we are experiencing such a rapid shift in consciousness that we are constantly having new, unfamiliar experiences.  Unfortunately, these experiences are not being broadcasted on the news or explained by your doctor or discussed at work during your coffee break.  Or are they?  

As an individual, you are probably going through a lot of major changes in your life.  And we can all see that the greater collective is experiencing some pretty big shifts as well.  These experiences – major financial upsets, home foreclosures, instabilities, etc. – are happening to the masses and are all part of our collective awakening!  Thus, you are awakening individually as well as with the collective and each of these areas of awakening will affect you.   

For those who are less conscious (aware), they may be thinking, “Geez, the market sucks right now, but it’s going to turn around.” Or even, “Oh, my God, I’m going to lose my house!  Where will I live?  What will I do?  Oh, no!”  Even those who are more conscious (aware) can experience similar thoughts, including the primal fears that can arise from such thoughts.  

The awareness that you are both a human and a spiritual being can help alleviate the self-judgment for your fears and fear-based thoughts; your spiritual self can find compassion for your human self.  Plus, this spiritual side can keep the light of hope lit – allowing your own light within to keep shining.  It helps you remember that all is truly well and enables you to drop into trust and find a sense of peace.  

During these times of “crashing and fading” our egos (fearful states) are dying and we are giving birth to our greater, more heart-centered selves.  Although both death and birth are part of the natural cycle of life, they can be painful, frightening experiences for the human being and ego.  

So, what do you do for others who are experiencing these aspects of life?  How would you comfort a friend who is losing a parent to cancer?  What do you do for a woman in the midst of labor?  Contemplate the offerings you would bring and consider blessing yourself with the same loving care.  Although this kind of support cannot always stop the emotional or physical pain, it can bring great comfort.  Allow yourself to feel what you feel, seek comfort from a friend or loved one (or offer it to yourself), know these transitions are intensely happening in our lives right now, and trust they will pass.  

No matter what the outward situation looks like, or how you feel, think or react to it all, know that you are worthy and lovable – always.  Whenever possible, allow yourself to feel this Love, breathe into this Love, and let it awaken your Heart!

Meditation can be a one time experience, an occasional indulgence or it can be cultivated into an on-going practice.  Of course, the benefits of meditation become more clear and present when it is done more often.  Imagine if meditation became an integral part of your life. What if you perceived it as essential to your health and well being as brushing your teeth, getting adequate sleep and eating well?  Beginning a meditation practice can be a matter of following a few simple steps; attending to it on a daily basis requires dedication and discipline.

To begin a meditation practice:

Create a sacred space:  Although you can meditate anywhere, and make that space sacred for the moment, it is nice to have a specific place where you can go to meditate regularly. If you develop your meditation practice in a dedicated space, you will find that the energy of the space will assist you with both its construct and peacefulness.  Perhaps you create an altar with a candle, fresh flowers, or a few meaningful items. You can use a comfortable chair, or purchase a meditation pillow to sit on.

Establish a regular practice:  Decide on a plan; maybe you begin by reserving just 10 - 20 minutes each day (preferably at the same time of day).  If you want to establish a rhythm, it would be better to consistently have five minutes a day and extend the time as you can, rather than meditating one or two days a week for longer periods.  Think about including meditation in your daily self-care routine.  Yet, if starting a daily practice is too much for you right now and you simply want to bring it into your life more often, perhaps you attend a weekly group meditation.  The group energy helps beginners go deeper into the meditative experience, gives you a sacred place to practice, and can fuel the desire to integrate it into your daily life.

Follow the four stages:  In previous articles, I outlined the four stages of meditation –approach, technique, meditative awareness, and conscious conclusion. Use them to guide you into, through and gently out of your meditation.

Let go of attachment:  Allow the experience of meditation to be as it is; know that each meditation will be unique.  It is the practice of staying awake and aware that is the essence of meditation.  Even having a “mystical experience” can be an obstacle because you might get caught up in desiring to repeat the incident while you miss the experience of the meditation you are in. A main task of meditation is “letting go” – of expectation, of what will be “accomplished” – since a grasping attitude keeps you from experiencing the flow of meditation.

Meditation allows us to practice the art of “being” – providing us with our own experience – which enables us to realize that we are not limited to our thoughts, feelings, or physical existence.  This experience – the unfolding of our self-realization – is our spiritual enlightenment.

The end of the meditation is the fourth and final stage. Sure you can jump up and run out the door, if necessary, but it is beneficial to bring your meditation to a close with the same reverence as you entered it. Allow yourself to complete your mediation with conscious conclusion.

In the conscious conclusion of your meditation, it is important to:

Rest:  When you reach the state of being, or inner peace, if even for a moment, it can be an exquisite experience.  It is considered the “peak experience” for that time of meditation.  Whenever possible, it is nice to allow enough time in your practice to reach this state and simply rest for awhile in the experience of being.  This will have a calming, clearing effect on your entire body and mind.

Return:  The process of returning your full awareness to your body, mind and environment should be a gradual one.  After experiencing meditative states of consciousness, “grounding” cannot be overemphasized in its importance.  It is critical to fully return to your attentive state of consciousness to avoid accidents or injuries after the meditation.

Extend:  You can utilize the benefits derived from your meditation practice and apply them to your daily life.  Although you bring your full consciousness back to your body and mind as you return to your “real life” after your meditation, be sure to take a moment to consciously extend the peacefulness, clarity or other beneficial effects into your day.

The experience of the meditation itself, described as meditative awareness, is the third stage of meditation. Meditative awareness allows the continuation and deepening of witness consciousness – the ability to simply witness your experiences, thoughts or feelings, rather than engaging in them.

With meditative awareness, you can begin to experience:

Flow:  Once the meditation process has been grounded through the use of technique you can become progressively interiorized, where attention gracefully flows to the point of focus.  This is a relaxed allowing of your attention, as opposed to an efforting or focused concentration, and indicates the point at which true meditation occurs.

Awareness:  Thoughts and feelings may still continue to arise at this point, but they are more subtle and you no longer become involved with them.  You simply remain awake and aware, established in the witness consciousness.

Being:  Meditation allows you to rest in the experience of being.  As busy people always doing, we rarely take the time to experience the state of being.   As you experience being, you discover your own pure nature, and may sense a true inner peace. 

In this article we will explore the second stage of meditation: technique. Using a meditation technique gives your mind “something to do.” Although many people believe that meditation is about having “no thoughts,” it is the nature of the mind to be active and seek stimulation.
  
A meditation technique helps you stay in the moment, while strengthening your abilities to:

Focus:  Utilizing one-pointed attention contributes to the calming of your mental field. A good focus point technique for beginners is paying attention to your breath.  Become aware of the movement of your breath – notice the air entering your nostrils, sense it completely as it hits the back of your throat, feel your chest and abdomen expand, feel the air exit through your nostrils, and so on.  Once you become aware of your breath, you can direct your inner gaze toward your third eye – the center point between your eyebrows – or your crown chakra at the top of the head.  Choose only one point of focus for your inner gaze and practice using it for a period of time; this allows depth in your meditation practice to progress.

Witness:  Meditation helps you develop a “witness consciousness” – the ability to be a conscious witness to all that is occurring.  Thoughts will arise and you may experience emotional and physical feelings in your body.  The task of meditation is to witness what is happening without attaching to it; simply noticing and letting it go.

Return:  During the process of meditation, it is certain you will lose the ability to maintain your witness consciousness and soon become involved in your thoughts and feelings. When this happens, simply return your attention to your breath and/or inner gaze. Much of meditation is gently returning your awareness to the point of focus.

Since each meditation is different, you may find that some days it’s easier to maintain your focus than other days. As you develop a regular meditation practice, your ability to focus increases along with your witness consciousness; as these wane, however, you can always remember to return.

There are several ways to meditate and you may already have preferences about when, where, why or how you meditate. However, if meditation is fairly new to you, or you want to explore meditation further, I will offer some basic teachings which I have learned directly from my mother, Rev. Tess Pender (who has been teaching meditation for several years) in my next few articles about meditation.

There are four distinct stages of meditation; these can be thought of as: the preparation or approach, the technique, the meditative experience itself, and the ending or conclusion.  Here are some insights about the first stage of meditation – the approach.

In the approach to meditation, attention is given to:

Environment: Although you can meditate anywhere, both our external and internal environments can be important factors to support a successful meditation.  It is good to find a quiet place free of interruptions as well as comfortable seating – perhaps a meditation pillow or comfortable chair.  Creating a sacred space can include setting up an altar, lighting a candle or burning some incense.  Internally, being open and receptive to the experience coupled with an attitude of respect for yourself and the process are a good place to begin.  It’s also wise to make sure you are not too tired or full from eating.

Posture:  Posture is an outer demonstration of attitude.  It also is a way of remaining alert and allowing energy to flow up and down your spine. Having the spine straight and the head even – not drooping down or looking upward – is very important, otherwise you can tend to drift into unconscious states. Since, your body and mind are connected, a still posture assists you in learning to be aware of mind states. You may begin to notice desires to move that are prompted by your thoughts. In these cases, simply let the thoughts go and stay with your intention to remain as steady as possible during your meditation. This is a first and essential discipline of practice as it creates a solid foundation.

Relaxation:  Once you enter a meditative pose, begin to consciously relax your body and mind. A good way to begin this is by taking a couple of slow, deep breaths; fully inhaling and exhaling quickly relaxes you.

Interiorization:  This is accomplished by closing your eyes, and bringing your attention inside your body/mind.  A simple way to invite interiorization is to follow the breath as it enters the body, noticing the air as it reaches your nostrils, back of your throat, lungs, and abdomen. With deep interiorization, inner states become more vivid and attachment to external stimuli fades.

There are many reasons people meditate.  Meditation can help us relax, reduce mental and emotional stresses, and bring us greater spiritual awareness.  Engaging in meditation can feel really good; to still the body, quiet the mind, notice the emotions and tap into the spirit can be a rewarding experience.  Yet the benefits of a regular meditation practice, like any form of exercise, can have longer lasing effects on our whole being.

These are some of the benefits of a regular meditation practice:

Physical: reduces stress, relaxes your body, helps you become more aware of the condition and needs of your body, and perhaps increase your potential for better health care, allows your body to experience states of bliss  

Mental: increases your ability to concentrate, helps you focus your attention for extended periods of time, relieves mental stress, reduces the pattern of self judgment, allows you to contemplate what is truly important in your life

Emotional: brings greater awareness of your emotions, enhances your ability to be non-reactive to the changes in your emotions, brings feelings of inner peace and contentment

Spiritual: allows you to experience your own spirit, helps you feel closer to God/Spirit/Source, helps awaken your innate intuitive (psychic) abilities, expands your ability to experience Oneness, or the connectedness of everything, assists in your “ascension” or enlightenment

When we reduce the normal distractions of our outer world, we can discover the subtleties of the world within us.  Meditation allows us to experience both our human and spiritual selves directly in a profound and peaceful way.