 Ah... the complexity of being utterly human with enough consciousness to know just how flawed we ALL are. The "greater" the consciousness (awareness) the greater the capacity to see all the nuances that make up the human being. And, as those who are traveling a path toward understanding and loving self and others, we STUMBLE. Often. And it usually hurts. Part of this "pain" is KNOWING that we are paradoxically PERFECT and IMPERFECT and that we - as humans - tend to screw up and then judge (whether judging another's screw up or our own). And something about this just doesn’t sit well with a conscious mind. Because what - after all - does it mean to screw up in the first place? Mistakes indicate a "right" and a "wrong." And again there lies a paradox since the "spiritual truth" is there is no duality (and likely no absolute "truth"). Most spiritual seekers understand we are one collective body and there is a longing to be in harmony with the whole. But sometimes - just like our physical bodies - the mouth wants something that ISN'T good for the digestive system. Often there are "conflicts" within the organism that should support the one. Doesn't this seem counter to a Universal wisdom? Our bodies "fail" us with dis-ease. Our minds have conflicting thoughts... dark ones, altruistic ones. Our ego is both helpful (preserving the system as a whole) and easily crosses the line to selfishness. But WHERE is that line? Who is the judge of the line? So we shrink back in shame and sometimes despair, not just in fear of making mistakes, but because we inherently LOVE the whole. And often the individuals that make up the whole (or at least we want to) and we simply, sincerely don't want to cause harm. Our souls are inherently perfect and loving. And through spiritual unfoldment (a natural process) we want that harmony within and around us in this third-dimensional experience. So we strive, we test the waters, we experiment with leaning into our part in the process and we "fail" at something along the way. Oh, but then we remember that it is all an illusion and go lick our wounds, and perhaps the wounds of others. Or maybe we’ve dedicated years to healing the sick and wounded and we wonder and cry for the depths of the human wounds. For those who are ultra-sensitive, we deeply feel all of it and this can be overwhelming. Again, the intention was never to add harm. Like a child in a play yard, we simply wanted to engage in this Earthly experience. Intention or not, accidents and harm happen. And this is what we must face: the inevitable "ugliness" of life. Flowers die, fruits whither, branches fall and injure people, words intended to help cut like knives. Do we retreat in mediation to "fix" ourselves? Do we take another course in x, y or z? Do we stop helping those who trust and admire our ability to meet them – human to human – because we are imperfect and have the capacity to harm? We could. It certainly feels safer. It’s the thought that counts, right? So the question becomes, "How perfect or spiritually aligned must I be in order to share my gifts with others?" Unlike romantic relationships, the stakes seem to be higher in this arena. Expectations for being perfect beings go through the spiritual roof! How can we ever live up to this tall order even if we did make a soul agreement to help humanity before we incarnated? “Great or small,” each of us is playing a role in this big cosmic game of life. We can take it "serious" and really strive to be "better" than we were yesterday… oh, but better indicates some kind of evaluation. Who is the evaluator again? God? Source? The All That I AM? So does that mean me? And what was the point of this game? Do we take it all in casually and play merely for the sake of our own enjoyment? Do we compete? Cooperate? Create? Co-create? Win? Lose? Is game just a metaphor? Isn’t this an illusion? A matrix? A cosmic reality show? And who is directing all this?
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 As a harmony-seeking Libran, I spent many years trying to "keep the peace." What this looked like, specifically, was lowering my natural vibration to match that of those around me. This is very common for many of us.
As such, I also tried to "get along" with others by "doing the right thing." This meant "learning the rules," right? But the problem, I quickly found, was that the rules changed and I rarely got to make them. I merely jumped from one hotspot to the other trying to please. About 11 years ago, I attended a class meeting in which my daughter's teacher was encouraging us parents to take a class in NVC (Non-Violent or Compassionate Communication). I felt myself leaning in agreeing, "I should do this!" But what I felt under that leaning was my desire/need to be a "better" person... and again to do the "right" thing. I quickly snapped out of it! (No, this is not a judgment about NVC.) I realized that I was finally ready to make peace with me AS I WAS and stop trying to figure out what the "right" way to be was since - at that moment - I realized there was no way I'd ever get myself "right" in someone else's eyes because everyone had very different expectations of what I / we "should" be or do to be okay! It was a lose-lose trap of never-ending not measuring up-ness. So after the meeting, I told the teacher, "I'm ready to make peace with my fucked-upness." And I felt my entire body relax in a sigh of relief. Does this mean that I've stopped growing? Does it mean I've become "enlightened"? No. I KNOW I OFFEND PEOPLE. I just walk in a room and can rub people the wrong way. I'm an intense person with a very sweet demeanor and sometimes people just won't like me or what I say or what I look like. My job is not to please them. Nor do I go out of my way to offend... truly. My "job" (if I want to call it that) is to surrender to the place in me that can simply be okay just because I am human.  Many believe that developing one’s intuition – or getting information from a professional psychic – will ensure that they will “know” whatever they need to know, when they need to know it. There is a false sense of “all will be well once I know the answer” kind of security. This is not only unrealistic; it is a set up for disappointment and can distract you from the deeper gifts available from intuitive insights. Our intuitive senses are… well, senses. And, given that they are metaphysical (denoting “beyond” or “behind”), they are a bit less tangible than our physical senses – though one may experience physical sensations through psychic awareness. Although it may be mind-bogglingly awesome to have some “spot on” intuitive insights, it’s important to understand that intuitive senses are prone to the same misperceptions as our other senses. When undeveloped, intuitive discernment is tricky to say the least. Yet even as the professional hones in on mastered psychic skills, the information offered may not be accurate all of the time. Why is that? First, notice how often your own senses mislead you…. I swear I heard someone knocking!... I’m sure I saw the light was green!... It didn’t taste spoiled when I ate it! When filtering extra-sensory perceptive information many things may be happening at once; sounds, words, feelings, body sensations, images, colors, and complete “knowings” can bombard the intuitive, whether novice or professional. Receiving and delivering intuitive information is a multi-dimensional form of communication. It takes practice detecting, interpreting and finally translating such ethereal perceptions. Even the best communicator can sometimes misunderstand what’s being conveyed and respond inadequately. Another reason intuitive insights can be “inaccurate” is that we are complex human beings with an array of beliefs, feelings, fears, and tendencies. Let’s say you are trying to psychically “peg” another person so you can “know” his or her romantic intentions toward you. A psychic read can tap into another person’s deep-seated fear such as “I don’t trust anyone because I was abandoned” and detect a closed heart. It can pick up on the person’s behavioral tendency; “I love the sexual charge of new attractions.” And, of course, it can read the person from a higher soul level; “I wish to transcend my relationship issues and open to real love.” All of these perceptions may be concurrently true, yet from which aspect the person chooses to act will impact the outcome. When it comes to psychic predictions and insights, here is a good analogy: If you are driving up a U.S. highway heading toward Canada, you could stop at a gas station and ask, “Am I going to get to Canada?” The local, who might know the route like the back of his hand, could reply, “Absolutely.” Essentially, the local is basing his answer on your intention to get to Canada as well as the highway and direction you are travelling. Noticing that you are travelling by car, not bike, he may also be able to predict how long it will take you to get there. The response is only as good as the considerations at that instance. The local has no control as to whether you decide to turn around and go to Mexico, or if you change course or vehicle and take the long, scenic route to Canada. Whether they are your own intuitive insights, or those offered by a professional psychic, it is absolutely possible to make fascinating and accurate predictions! Although this can be extremely exciting, and even feel promising, psychic “knowings” don’t mean you will be forever joyful. True joy is not based on having certainties in life. Sometimes the initial attraction to obtaining psychic information is the sense of security that it might offer, and many of us equate security with happiness. Yet security is an illusion. Sure, we all long for “enough” money, a forever love relationship, a solid roof over our head, and optimal health. As much as these things can make us feel good, they don’t guarantee authentic joy nor are they promised to us indefinitely. Life happens. People get sick, jobs change, lovers leave, roofs leak. Since change is the only constant, we must find ways to unlock joy within us, amidst perpetual change.
 With a powerful film title, the documentary Vaxxed: From Cover-Up to Catastrophe might deter proponents of vaccines and conventional medicine from seeing it, assuming this is an anti-vaccination tirade. In fact, the documentary was “deselected” from the Tribeca Film Festival at the end of March 2016 after being considered “anti-vaccine” by some filmmakers and journalists who had not seen the film. And, of course, there are those who wish to dismiss it as another conspiracy theory. Yet, this compelling and well-researched film clearly reveals an alarming story from a whistleblower, a Senior Scientist at the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) – a story every citizen should know, especially parents, parents-to-be, doctors and those in the health care industry (whom we all expect to be well-informed). After viewing Vaxxed, actor Robert DeNiro, a Tribeca Film Festival co-founder, renounced the de-selection of the film saying, “I think the movie is something that people should see.” I do, too. Throughout the film, recorded phone conversations between the whistleblowing scientist Dr. William Thompson and biologist Dr. Brian Hooker are woven around disturbing family accounts of notable onsets of autism after receiving the measles-mumps-rubella vaccine (MMR), instances of fraudulent activities within the CDC, and informative insights from well-respected doctors and scientists, including pediatrician Dr. James M. Sears and a recipient of the 2008 Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine, virologist Dr. Luc Montagnier. Vaxxed is clearly not an anti-vaccination film. The documentary doesn’t even question the efficacy of vaccines, but rather poignantly asks some deeper questions regarding the significant rise of autism cases over the past two decades, the transparency of the CDC, the monetary motivations within the industry, the practices surrounding vaccine testing, and the distribution – or perhaps omission – of critical data related to the MMR vaccine. Director Dr. Andrew Wakefield became a controversial figure in the medical industry after getting “discredited” for a study he submitted to a medical journal, The Lancet. Yet he has never stated that parents should stop vaccinating. In Vaxxed, Dr. Wakefield openly shares his deep concerns with the MMR combination vaccine, advocating for a single dose vaccine as a safer alternative – which, interestingly, is no longer available. In 1993, while pregnant with my first child, I had no idea vaccines were optional in my state; I hadn’t even questioned them. Once their potential dangers and questions of efficacy came to my attention, I dove deep into research wanting to make the best choice for my baby before giving birth. A critical component I learned was that my decision didn’t have to be an all-or-nothing resolution, but rather – if I opted to vaccinate – could be thoughtful assessments of which and when. In addition to concerns over combination vaccines, Vaxxed reveals the potentially hazardous consequences of inoculating children between 12 and 15 months of age with MMR, especially for African-American males. Even though I had kept somewhat abreast on the vaccination topic over the past 23 years, Vaxxed took me “behind the scenes” of the autism-vaccine controversy and illuminated some bigger concerns. Aside from parental observations, I have never been able to do research on the health of vaccinated versus non-vaccinated children because they do no exist. In 2002, I was able to order a tetanus-only vaccine for my two older children, but didn’t realize that other single dose vaccines have since become unavailable in the United States. As well, I did not realize that vaccines are not tested under the same provisions as pharmaceutical drugs. The lack of CDC transparency and government action exposed in this film, unfortunately, did not surprise me. At the end of Vaxxed: From Cover-Up to Catastrophe, the documentary lists four demands to help ensure safer vaccines, summarizing the goals of the film. Vaxxed is more than a documentary, it is a call to action, requesting:
As a California mother of four, my medical-choice rights have been stripped in the area of childhood vaccinations. Thus, I found myself irritated at the footage of Dr. Richard Pan pushing Senate Bill 277 – a bill he authored to mandate vaccines for all children in public and private California schools – which has now become law. And, whether it was one of the several pro-vaccine commercials or the snippets of Vaxxed-casted children offering an alternative view, I find the use of child actors unnecessarily manipulative, as I’m not convinced these youth have developed their own informed viewpoints. Aside from these personal responses in watching the film, the only other drawback I found was there seemed to be a negative portrayal of autism. Most of us understand that not all vaccines cause autism, not all cases of autism are the result of vaccinations, and autism spans a wide spectrum of conditions. There are many people on the autism spectrum living productive, happy lives. In 90 minutes, Vaxxed focuses on the sound concerns of the whistleblower and other experts, highlights heart-wrenching stories of families with vaccine-injured children, offers disconcerting facts about vaccine testing, and reveals disturbing weak links in regard to public information and child safety. Educational, concise and in some cases passionately raw, the interviews are certainly persuasive. Assumedly for his protection, Dr. William Thompson is never filmed in the documentary, nor are his images revealed, which could lead some critics to question his existence and/or the validity of his claims. The sooner Congress subpoenas Dr. Thompson, the better – for a multitude of reasons.
 As part of our spiritual evolution our metaphysical senses will continue to sharpen and become just as active and efficient as our physical senses. Our third eye will see more clearly, our gut feelings will be easily identifiable, our higher knowing will integrate with our thoughts, and our ability to hear and communicate with other realms will increase exponentially. Channeling messages from non-earthly beings – from angels to galactic travelers – will be as easy as tuning in to our favorite radio stations and singing along with the latest hits. For many skilled intuitives, this is already the case. Across the world wide web you’ll find a plethora of offerings from light beings, star systems, parallel universes, and even the future. At this time of expanding consciousness, many people are directly experiencing the art and gifts of channeling. Although it is an indication of heightened awareness, it is important to evaluate and assimilate that which is truly valuable. Everyone is a Channel Whether or not we have developed our intuitive senses, each of us has them. As with any skill – including walking or riding a bike – it merely takes practice to become proficient. Imagine if we lived in a culture in which using our metaphysical senses was expected and honored? “What’s your gut telling you,” mom would ask, and then she would validate your response. As spiritual-human beings, each of us is an extension of God Consciousness. Therefore, whatever we say or do is also from the same consciousness! This does not condone behaviors that are misaligned or void of love, but rather reminds us of our inherent divinity. If we understand that the core of who we are cannot be separated from that Divine impulse we begin to realize that every action, thought or word is an extension of Source, in spite of our humanness. As every expression of God is fully empowered to believe, act and say whatever desired because of free will, the challenge thus lies in aligning with Love. Evaluate the Messages for Love Connecting with realms that are less familiar to us can be uncomfortable or even frightening at first, and it is always important to evaluate the love that is present. Channeled messages from deceased loved ones can be based in fear, hate and anger just as easily as they can be brought forth to offer support, love and new perspectives. To be clear, transitioning to the “other side” does not mean a spirit has evolved or let go of its resentments. If grandma’s channel says she loved you better than your father and goes on to share her woes about unresolved issues, this message is not only of a lower frequency, it can dampen your own energy field if you give it unnecessary value. Empower yourself to evaluate the information received and if it is not from Love, feel free to delete that channel! Spirit guides are just as diverse as the universe itself, ranging from the animal kingdom to star beings and beyond. It is critical to use discernment with these aspects and understand that – like passed loved ones – they may not be as evolved as you expect. The key, again, is to limit your interactions to those that align with Love. Whether you consider yourself a channel or simply feel connected to a particular spirit guide, it is important to note that it is not appropriate for spirit guides to urge sexual encounters, nor should they present themselves as being more “powerful” than you. As with people, do not give any spirit guide your power or authority. Messages from the Pleiades, Archangel Michael, High Councils or other ascended realms are authentic when they are infused with Love Consciousness. Because these aspects are highly evolved they will not encourage separation consciousness or indicate a hierarchy based on “better than.” When connecting with refined states of consciousness, the energy feels unconditionally loving or, because we are emotional beings, can sometimes feel strangely neutral. The information presented helps us see our choices, experience the love that we are, and remember unity. More often than not, these messages are for your own personal growth and do not necessarily mean you need to share them with the world. This is for you to decide. Advice or predictions channeled from Love Consciousness are offered simply to help us see and understand the larger picture in relation to our power and potential, often urging us to take an active part in our own evolution. Pay Attention to Your Feelings As a channel, we can receive information in many forms including physical sensations, visions, sounds, direct messages, and spontaneous knowing. As a human, our body, mind and emotions are valid components to help us discern what feels appropriate and what does not. Although fear can be an annoying alarm triggered by almost anything, it can also be a valuable tool. As we become more conscious, we can learn to differentiate “good fear” from “bad fear.” Thankfully, fears that are warranted can help us navigate away from people, situations and energies that are not in our best interest. Unreasonable fears, however, will make us feel paralyzed and uncertain about everything. Either way, it is extremely important to refrain from channeling if you are in a fearful state. The whole point of channeling is to bring information that serves. When we ignore our own needs – whether we discount what we feel or give our power away to another form of “wisdom” – we are not acting in aligned service. The martyr archetype is not necessary, or even helpful, in our collective ascension. Always notice and validate your human needs when channeling. Being anchored in neutrality allows us to clearly monitor our own experiences as well as evaluate the energy and information that is coming through when we channel. From this state, we remain in our power. Assimilate Your Channel We have reached a level of collective consciousness that enables us to integrate the highly evolved aspects of ourselves, including our beloved channels. Admittedly, we probably shouldn’t absorb grandma and all her issues, or may not want to assimilate an animal totem. However, there’s no reason why we can’t merge our heart and wisdom with the Love Consciousness that is palpable within the ascended masters’ and angelic realms. By no means is this to imply that you should claim to be Mother Mary or the next savior! Not only are these inaccurate proclamations, they sprout from an egoic need to feel validated. Ascended Love does not need validation; it merely offers us continuous opportunities to merge with it. Once you recognize the ease and unity you experience as a channel, it may be time to evaluate the reasons you continue to separate your human self from that which you channel. Remember, all separation comes from the ego, whether to feel valid or better than, or because of a belief in unworthiness. Yet, the main gift brought through high caliber channeling is the remembrance of Love and Unity! When you integrate your highly evolved state – often referred to as something you channel – incorporating soul wisdom becomes second nature and is extremely powerful as it anchors on the planet as you.
 In a culture of deeds and doers, it seems a bit – or even extremely – passive to simply allow. Allow what? Allow the hungry to starve? Allow an abusive relationship to continue? Allow my house to get messy and taxes to go unfiled? Our fear-based egos start to drum up all kinds of scenarios to demonstrate the harm in allowing. So let’s go there…. Let’s sit with this fear of allowing before we proceed. Our first instinct is to equate allowing with not doing, right? And “not doing” is not a fruitful option in many areas of our lives; we get bad grades when we don’t do our homework, get fired when we don’t do our jobs, or lose relationships when we don’t engage in them. Yet, deeper than our discomfort with living in an embarrassingly messy home, or our fear of having the IRS levy our bank accounts, there is a core fear in allowing. Sadly, many of us have experienced the pain and helplessness of being a victim. As children, we were powerless over the situations and adults in our lives, and most of us had crucial experiences that hurt us in some way. In order to protect ourselves and assert our power we learned to do – and sometimes overdo – in order to navigate our way from victimhood to feeling more in control. It is clear that many of our personal actions have led us to where we are now. We see the correlation between action and consequence. Yet, a common pattern that develops as we grow spiritually is many of our willful efforts and attempts to maintain control become increasingly less effective. It is in this way our higher soul is inviting us to allow. For many, being the “good girl” or doing the “right thing” leads to a life of monotony, limitation and unfulfilled potential. Again, the dualistic mind assumes the implication here is to be “bad” or do the “wrong thing,” but this is a matter of perspective. We have let society, our parents, and others we hold as authority figures define the boundaries of what we should be doing with our lives, and how to do them. So, now let’s practice a bit of conscious allowing. Take a moment to relax, breathe deeply, focus on your heart, and feel into the statement: I have let society, my parents, and others define what I should be doing with my life, and how to do them. What comes up for you? If inspired, write down your response. Or simply allow this experience to unfold a little longer before moving on. You may notice: Conscious allowing is as simple as creating the space in the present moment to experience what is. Even though our thoughts may go wild, confusion or feelings begin to arise, or that “I must try harder” impulse stirs up some anxiety, if we stay present, using the support of our breath and the openness of our heart, we can allow all of it… thoughts, feelings, confusion, agitation, surrender. Whatever is. Allowing offers an alignment with our essence, an expansion of trust, and carries a sublime awareness of Universal Perfection. In life and along our spiritual path, we encounter things that are unfamiliar and uncomfortable, and allowing can be one such thing. And though we may intellectually comprehend the notion of allowing, our souls will prompt us to experience it in deeper ways. Oftentimes, this comes in the form of crisis. Our normal reaction to crisis is, “What can I do?” With clear reasoning and responsible actions, we can positively impact the situation, even if we can’t completely resolve it. Clearly, doing can be extremely beneficial, but when we believe we will gain 100% control over an issue (and the people involved) with action alone we have fallen into a trap of the ego. In addition to our reliance on doing, those of us who have spiritually embraced the “Law of Attraction” often find ourselves conflicted when life doesn’t go our way. Rather than recognizing this as a chance to allow, we resort to self-blame. I must not have visualized clearly. My negative thoughts are blocking me. I’m not enlightened enough. As these beliefs imply that even more action is required of us, our angst intensifies! Part of releasing our ego-driven practices is shifting the ego’s understanding of the Law of Attraction. In reality, attraction entails allowing. Admittedly, the Law of Attraction is a fun and enticing tool to help us understand our true power. Novice spiritual seekers are like children in a candy shop who have yet to understand that just because one can “create reality” doesn’t mean one’s goal is in alignment with the Higher Self. In fact, satisfying the ego’s desires is rarely the path chosen by advanced souls. Generally speaking, our ability to manifest will work for a while, encouraging us to trust our inherent gifts and dig deeper into our soul. Yet, as we evolve, merging with our collective ascension, creating from the ego becomes ineffectual. Thus, when our manifesting skills diminish, we are ready to master allowing. Although we can choose to learn the art of allowing any time, life challenges offer down-to-earth opportunities to practice it. With our fixation on actions and control, plus our right versus wrong primal thinking, allowing can feel counter-everything that’s been tried and true. Yet, by taking baby steps to practice this cathartic skill we open ourselves to the freedom and joy our souls envision. Allowing may not be easy, but it is always accessible and begins with choice. If you are ready to experiment, or your soul is coercing you with interesting circumstances, or if you tend to over-give, here are some ways you can open to conscious allowing:
At a time when our world seems to be spinning faster, and doing more is constantly expected of us, slowing down and learning to allow are essential to our peace of mind and lightness of soul. As well, learning to allow is a fundamental step toward personal empowerment. As we evolve – shifting from a mindset focused on external control to one rooted in inner empowerment – our conscious practice of allowing will help us cultivate deep-seated contentment and joy, which positively affects the vibration of our collective reality.
 As we enter an awakened state of consciousness, where we have gained distance from the confines of dualistic thinking, we find ourselves at the fulcrum point of neutrality. In some respects, this feels like a good marker; we no longer evaluate experiences as inherently bad (or good), which can reduce or release our suffering. Neutrality brings to us an impersonal realization that what happens to people may not be so… well, personal. At a minimum, it offers a perspective above the haze of harsh judgment. With a shift in awareness and a steadfast grip on the wheel pulling us toward right-or-wrong thinking, we arrive at a paradox. Though our heart may feel lighter and freer, our ego – driven by order, duality, and survival – can begin to panic. When those sharp peaks and valleys of extremes soften into gentle waves, the ego may interpret the smoother ride as boring… or even as an indication of lifelessness. It is here we come upon apathy. When we encounter apathy, we often misperceive what we experience. Is this depression? Not caring? Am I numb to life? If we have identified strong emotions and opinions with caring deeply, and grown appreciative of this aspect of being human, apathy can be an uncomfortable state. Not wishing to idle in unfamiliar territory, our ego rushes back to duality assuming we have gotten off our spiritual course. Our spiritual growth gives us the capacity to appreciate the wholeness of Life, acutely recognizing that the multitude of shades, shapes and experiences are far richer than any duality-based definition. Whether we strive for it, or the occurrences of detached awareness happen spontaneously, the sense of feeling apathetic is simply a part of our awakening process. Neutrality not only allows us to notice the depth and complexity in all things, it offers an underlying contentment to our observation. If we refrain from judging the spiritual apathetic state and allow ourselves to venture deeper into it, we discover its foundation; we realize the Perfection in Everything. According to Merriam-Webster the simple definition of apathy is “the feeling of not having much emotion or interest: an apathetic state.” With neutrality and equanimity, the abundance of “much” diminishes. With signposts touting “the more the merrier” at almost every turn in our lives, we’ve associated anything that implies “less” as some kind of deviation. Our feelings of “lack” and “less than” get triggered and put us into a tailspin. Gee, and all this over feeling a little apathy? An awakening soul rises from the belief that emotions, desires and experiences define the true self. Admittedly, on the trail of neutrality, apathy takes a bit of getting used to. It can show up in various ways, often leaving us feeling disconnected from mass consciousness. For example, we may not feel compelled to participate in activities that no longer resonate, even if others continue in that direction. Conversations that are shallow, heated or controversial can feel pointless. Discovering what makes us “happy” may suddenly seem like an impossible quest. No longer being coerced by old habits, or feeling the pull toward emotional highs and lows, we gain opportunities to let go of what isn’t serving us. Guilt, shame and judgment stop navigating our choices. In the abyss of apathy, we are given the space to simply be. In an apathetic state we may wonder whether who we are or what we do really matters. If the wondering is infused with worry, it is not so much apathy but rather the ego’s desire to land in a comfortable place. And discomfort can be a handy jumpstart to move us toward the direction of our soul’s calling. Untethered from dutiful posts, we are free to explore. Often, we begin our explorations within familiar boundaries, noticing them with more objectivity. Do I identify with this community… or that one? Do I want to volunteer my time in this way… or should I volunteer elsewhere? Maybe I’ll take a painting class… or what about web design? In a more open state, we accept our experiences and experimentations for what they are; we don’t depend on them to define us. With neutrality it is easier to discern which external experiences resonate with our core. Inner journeying is also easier when we enter with equanimity. What used to be major roadblocks to exploring our soul are removed (or reduced to flashing lights signaling to proceed with caution). With our inner judge at bay, our defenses relax. Inviolable, we discover deserted passageways that lead right to our heart. By exploring the depths and nuances of our being without judgment, more of our true self and gifts emerge. In addition to our wondrous heart, our shadowy crevices (and all aspects of who we are) contain gems. In fact, the wisdom of our soul has carefully hidden our greatest treasures where they would be protected most; a place only one with skill and courage would dare to look. The spiritual apathetic state – the remembrance innate Perfection – provides the composure we need to find and excavate our inherent gifts. With neutrality, we can learn to cultivate our gifts without letting them define us or determine our worth. We understand that sharing who we are and what we bring to the world is a choice, not a requirement. And, in electing to do so, we find joy. If we choose not to perceive apathy as a digression from our spiritual path, or let it crumble to disdain, we can embrace it as a powerful tool to guide our conscious journey to self-awareness and joy.
 Highly awake people tend to be ultra-conscious, which often translates into being overly critical of everything they do, and even who they are. In spite of pure intentions, good deeds and spiritual striving, the weight of self-criticism can bog the spiritual seeker down in Earthy mud and muck! No matter how hard those chakra wheels spin, there is little traction to get unstuck. A belief rises to the surface: If I were only spiritual enough, everything in my life would fall into place. Is this conviction keeping your contentment hostage? Are you constantly trying to “change negative thinking” or “process fears” or perfect your spiritual practices? Are you really sure you are doing everything RIGHT? Perhaps you should learn to meditate in that Earthly mud… or better yet, just play in it! Yes, dear seeker, this moment – as you recognize just how inadequate you are and how many more miles there are to walk on your spiritual journey – is the perfect time to take a long, deep, loving breath and exhale gratitude with a heart-felt “OM.” Put that soft Buddha smile back on your face before you read on. Like any good, spiritual enthusiast, you likely did as instructed… and perhaps you feel better… or not. The question is, Do you believe there is an ever-evading perfect life waiting for you to ascend to it? Rather than process your beliefs about this one, or give you some affirmations to repeat for the next 21 days, here are some essential truths for your heart to behold:
Maybe, wise one, you are already evolved and your only “lesson” is to embrace your Perfection now? Perhaps it is time to stop taking it all so seriously (as you are oh-so-beautifully conscious that you actually know you are always emanating your best anyway). It’s time to have a bit of fun for a change! Need ideas about what to do at recess, spiritual student?
Life is an amazing unfoldment of the All That Is, ever-changing, ever-Perfect, ever-mysterious. As we awaken further to our higher spiritual consciousness, we will discover what we perceive to be obstacles along the way. Are they obstacles? Did we create them? Perhaps. Allowing your Perfection is remembering that you are absolutely spiritual enough, your life is a Divine reflection of your expanding soul, and the present moment is where you get to embrace it… mud, muck and ascension.
 Trusting your intuition does not have to be about being "right." It can simply be that "quiet voice" of guidance that you use to navigate through your life. We all have this inner knowing as part of our makeup, the question is, Do you use it as part of your self care?
A challenge we face is that we have grown up in a society that doesn't teach us to value our own inner guidance. Instead, we are directed to listen to the voices of authority and given a hierarchy of people who "know best" stacked on top of us! Secondly, if you are at all tuned in to your metaphysical senses, you've likely been told the "right" and "wrong" ways to use them. With so many "do's", "don'ts" and "proper" techniques, it can make you feel inadequate. Or, there may be so much psychic interference in your field that you can't discern what's coming from Love Consciousness or your ego. The bottom line is that you are inherently intuitive and - like walking - you simply need to practice. And, just as we each have our own way in which we move through the world, your intuitive hits are just as unique as you. Reducing your exposure to negativity (including media) helps eliminate the external interference that bogs our minds and weighs heavy in our auric fields. The key to discerning the egoic thoughts from the inner guidance is that the ego's voice is shaming and filled with "shoulds" (mimicking the voice of authority) that make you feel less than, rather than hopeful or empowered. As the higher realms continue to prompt us to step more fully into ourselves, learning to trust your intuition is one of the most aligned ways to embrace self care!  As you likely feel and know, the Divine Feminine is coming back into harmony within and around us. For centuries the pendulum swung deep into masculine energies and caused many imbalances in basically every aspect of our lives; power, relationships, and caring for our Earth, to name a few.
As 2015 unfolds, the pendulum will continue to swing back toward the center against the winds that helped form masculine domination. And, like any egoic authority, it doesn't welcome changes in the power structure. Egos like to feel safe and in control. Thus, this swinging into balance will feel like a "backlash" to those who are anchored in egoic masculine power and will be heartily met with resistance! In addition to welcoming the Divine Feminine, we are re-aligning with the Divine Masculine, where power is anchored in truth, compassion and action. For every release of fear-based structures we will discover the heart of Divine Love shining at its core. Expect, notice and welcome the balancing energies. Ask for release and integration. As we expand spiritually, the human expansion will follow.... allow it.  What if we were merely watching a super intense, interactive life-long movie? What if each one of us was the star of this incredible multi-dimensional show, which plays out according to our own vantage point? Metaphysically speaking, this is the essential framework of living as humans on Earth at this time. One of the most challenging aspects of metaphysics is trying to understand its non-linear structure within the limitations of the evaluating mind. As highly evolved souls, in order to give us a human experience, we had to agree to perceive separation (from Oneness consciousness) and engage in linear time and space. These fundamental pieces are the foundation on which our three-dimensional reality has been created. As we evolve spiritually, our perceptions expand to include other concepts and dimensions and we begin to see beyond the basic framework. Thought Projections When spiritual teachers talk about changing our thoughts to change our reality, they are focusing on this primary aspect of our original agreement. In actuality, it is more than just our thoughts that create our reality; our emotions, pre-birth agreements and soul intentions are vital elements. For the sake of simplicity, we will include these other facets when referring to our Thought Projections. In a movie theater the projector displays the movie onto a screen. Light and sound have been digitally captured to create the show which has been modified with such exquisite technology that we enjoy the “realness” of it. The intention of most movies is believability. We, as viewers, want to feel connected to the movie - enjoy the spaceship ride, feel the adrenaline of the chase, experience the romance of the first kiss. If, as a soul, we sincerely wanted a human experience, wouldn’t it be frustrating to have the life-movie be so poorly done that it wasn’t even believable? What a waste of time, right?! Thus, with linear time, ample space and other humans with whom we can interact and experience intense emotions, the realness of our lives become – well – believably real. Thinking of our lives as a series of Thought Projections can provoke feelings of anger, especially in times of pain or crisis when we feel like victims. This, of course, intensifies the reality aspect. Yet, we can allow ourselves to acknowledge those times of pain and suffering - to feel into them completely. We can also remain open to learning the basics of Thought Projections, which can offer us a new, empowering perspective. On any ordinary day, let yourself pretend you are in your own movie. Watch with interest, wonder and humor. Observe your movie with as little attachment as possible. If you do this often you will begin to notice there is more to the movie than just the screen. With intention and willingness, you can become aware of the parts of you that are acting as the projector. When you become conscious of your Thought Projections, you become aware of your impact on them. Nothingness You may be wondering what Nothingness has to do with Thought Projections or Manifesting Reality, but this is a very important aspect for understanding our essence. Like the light that transfers images onto the screen, or the sound that booms from the speakers, there isn’t anything that is physically tangible – there is no matter in these forces, only in the vehicles that deliver them. Though we can validate the realness of sights and sounds, we also understand that they are actually perceptions. In fact, it is only when we don’t have these capacities (or they are diminished) that we recognize how our “lack of perception” impacts our reality. If we imagine being completely blind or deaf – or unable to smell or taste or feel – we define our inability as experiencing “nothing.” In other words, even when matter isn’t involved we perceive our experiences as “something” – they become valid and, in some way, part of our reality. We usually evaluate reality by its Somethingness, but must also understand the value of Nothingness to gain a more complete and empowering perspective. Beyond our perceptions, sound and light are actually frequency wavelengths. The “space” in which there is “nothing” is just as valid as the “something” itself. It is how the entire construct “exists” within the time/space continuum. That said, our thoughts are basically the same kind of construct; a wavelength of something and nothing vibrating at a particular frequency. Those who teach mindfulness – encouraging us to pay attention to all that “happens” – also emphasize the Nothingness (sometimes referred to as the Emptiness). As you can deduce – and vitally important to note – as soon as the mind perceives anything it has immediately created something to perceive! Of prime importance, that something can become a conscious choice in whether it gets played out in our personal movie. From a soul perspective, there is more Nothingness than anything else. The Nothingness is the potential, the pre-thought, the void from which all things emerge. Yet, in order to keep the movie playing, we continuously cast Thought Projections onto the linear timeline. In a meditative state, allow yourself to play with the notion of Nothingness. See if you can “grasp” it. Ask your Higher Self to give you an experience of it. Feel into its potential and imagine what could be created from the expansiveness of no limits! What you may discover is your own essence and power pulsating in that expansiveness... your being as infinite possibility. Manifesting Reality Those seeking instant gratification would likely skip the previous two parts and focus solely on this section, but understanding the fundamentals of Thought Projections and Nothingness are key to Manifesting Reality. Admittedly not complete, the basics are enough to provide a seeker with more tools to understand and explore. Manifesting Reality on Earth (in its crudest form) is dependent on Thought Projections directed onto the “movie screen” of time and space. Although Thought Projections emerge from Nothingess, without time or space they actually – instantaneously – absorb right back into it! Therefore, it is in this instant that we can, once again, recognize and harness the power of pure potentiality. As human beings, with our commitment to participate in the reality of time and space we often feel limited and powerless by life’s circumstances. We may feel we are under the heavy influence of our own automatic, unconscious thoughts, in spite of reciting positive affirmations or mantras. To consciously engage in Manifesting Reality, we must learn to raise our own frequency. When the wavelength of our Thought Projections and the potentiality of the Nothingness vibrate so high that they are practically indiscernible, we will begin to generate miracles! Raising your vibration – physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually – is attainable, but takes consciousness and a commitment to do so. Eat well, rest often, surround yourself with people you love, challenge yourself to learn and grow, and walk upon a spiritual path that makes your heart sing. Ask your Soul to support your ascension; to bring you the people, information and tools you need. Conscious or not, joyful or not, your inherent ability in Manifesting Reality is already playing out for you in the movie of your life. By understanding the power of your Thought Projections, as well as their essential Nothingness, you can take Manifesting Reality to a whole new level. Whether being capable of healing yourself or others, acutely seeing beyond the veils into new dimensions, or simply creating a foundation of joy for your earthly experience, you can evolve from merely Manifesting Reality to Manifesting Your True Soul’s Desires!
 There are many times throughout the year that seem to imply a new beginning. Given that the last day of one year and first day of the next are often sandwiched somewhere in a holiday break, the difference between the two days is relatively minor - except for maybe the hangover. Yet the desire to "start anew" seems to entice us.
Whether it's Spring, the end of the school year or the beginning, "starting anew" is as ingrained in us as time itself. Like all things in nature, we are cyclical beings continuously shifting from a beginning to a middle to an end. In terms of each New Year there seems to be a larger, collective impulse to start again as we have agreed on a global calendar. Personally, we each want our lives to reflect our values and ideals and we recognize how easy it is to get stuck or drift off course. Having time as a constraint, we have decided to use it as a marker... a starting point for something "else." If you are one who enjoys new beginnings, you have likely made some kind of resolve to coincide with the New Year. Though I typically see "New Year's Resolutions" as a way for me to set myself up with over-ambitious expectations, I always set inner intentions for what I desire for the year and shift my focus towards them. Whatever your method, I encourage you to be gentle with yourself. Pick things that are grand, yet doable. Give yourself some wiggle room for growth and find support to help you stay on track. And, most importantly, if you get discouraged along the way, remember you are always exactly where you need to be!  I have to admit I am super excited about 2015!
Though "predicting" time-frames and events aren't exactly my specialty, I can certainly feel the potentiality of what lies within the collective consciousness and the year ahead. What I see for 2015 are some HUGE expansions. Like childbirth, they may not always feel so good, but are (oh, so) necessary for new things to emerge! And, I see some pretty major things emerging! Specifically, I see the emergence of TRUTH. As the "veils of illusions" continue to dissolve, light will shine into those areas which have been hidden - from the public, in relationships, within ourselves. This, of course, can cause backlashes from fear. As much as our essence wants to be revealed, there is still a fearful need to stay hidden. Police brutality, corporate corruption, government agendas, infidelities and the like will continue to be exposed and the results won't always be so pretty. In fact, seeing the truth can be heart-breaking and life-shattering. Yet, it is instrumental to ignite our passion to be free and joyful! Along with the emergence of truth comes CHOICE. In 2015, we will see MORE CHOICES than ever - from job opportunities, to places to live, to the selections of products and services, to ways to interact with each other. The massive amount of choices we have reflect our growing awareness in our choices. We are beginning to really understand that in any given moment we have an infinite selection of thoughts and feelings available to us... and those are the foundation of our future. What future are you building for 2015?  As a non-astrologer, I have no idea what's happening in the sky unless a full moon illuminates my dark woods at night. Yet, as a sensitive soul myself, I feel energetic influences that touch my own life, as well as collectively. Similar to the ebb and flow of the tide, shifts are constantly taking place under these influences!
The most recent pattern I have noticed in several of my clients is a sort of "re-configuring" of the brain. In our expansion process, it is important we learn to "understand" the world in a whole new way. For some, that understanding will be as simple as learning to view others with compassion. For others, they will see themselves in a profoundly deeper way. Many are trying to bring more light into their bodies which opens them up exponentially. This light affects every part of the body, including the brain - which is where the current shift is happening for many people. Brains are incredibly powerful tools in the human body and our relation with our brain is immeasurable. Yet, if we want to evolve to the degree that we can consciously and lovingly affect our lives and our world in amazingly powerful ways, we must be able to bring an entirely new level of effectiveness in to our awareness; into our brains. If you notice head tingling, movement, confusion, new interesting thoughts and other "different" experiences, focus your awareness and welcome the expansion of your brain's capacity. Trust that your soul is working on your human behalf to help you activate new, powerful areas of your incredible brain.  Whether you are emotionally sensitive, or psychically or energetically sensitive - or all of the above! - it is important to not only recognize your sensitivity, but to honor it. A simple way to do so is to give yourself space.
When you are emotionally sensitive, people's harsh words and emotions can affect you so deeply you want to withdraw, closing your heart. Energetic or psychic sensitivity is harder to recognize (as we don't really validate this in our world); therefore, can be harder to protect. Sure, you can repeatedly stay in contact with those who hurt your feelings or whose anger pokes into you, but why? To preserve your need to feel good - to allow unfiltered JOY into your life - it is best to distance yourself from these kinds of people! In doing so, your need to guard yourself from their harshness, as well as joy, dissolves. When it comes to psychic and energetic overload, just like with people, you need to create distance. Avoid going into overly busy or mis-aligned spaces (i.e. malls, crowds). As well, carve out a space in your own home where you can enjoy a personal retreat with an open heart. Daily space for the sensitive soul is as necessary as air! Take long, cleansing breathes of that simple, sacred space you've created... just for you.  What does it mean to be a mystic? Some imagine yogis sitting in meditation for hours on end, or think of mystics as Christ-like people who have extraordinary powers to heal, predict the future, or travel into other realms. Though these are examples of mysticism, a mystic is simply “a person who seeks by contemplation and self-surrender to obtain unity with or absorption into the Deity or the absolute, or who believes in the spiritual apprehension of truths that are beyond the intellect.” When we believe mysticism is reserved for a chosen few, or for those willing to give up all earthly pleasures, we disconnect from our inner mysticism which can be a powerful link to create the lives we desire. By discovering and embracing the mystic we were born to be, we align with authenticity, empowerment and joy. Contemplation and Self-Surrender Meditation can be a form of contemplation, but it is not the only path to unity consciousness. Many mystics use a variety of methods to surrender their egoic limitations and allow for absorption into the absolute. Yoga, spiritual study groups, conscious breathwork, fasting, and dance are all valid actions a mystic can consciously utilize with intention to achieve a spiritual quest. Again, these are not the only methods one can use. If your intention is to experience oneness, then do so in your daily endeavors. While washing dishes, become completely mindful of your task. Feel the plate, notice the soapy sponge as it makes contact to remove the grease, experience the heat of the water. Don’t limit yourself by believing a mystical experience of oneness with the Divine has certain qualities, or wait for it to happen to you spontaneously. Instead, cultivate a practice of seeking oneness with the mundane tasks you perform each day. Allow absorption into the present moment. As well, seek wonder. By opening yourself to the marvels that are ever-present, you release the walls that keep you confined to your smallness. Finding the awe in the things around you may seem to emphasize your smallness, or minimize you to no-thing, but this is an essential shift in awareness. As you expand your perceptions to take in the wonder that exists in all things, you realize the vastness and wonder that is within you… that is you! Star-gaze, sincerely hug a tree, notice your plants dancing softly with the wind, listen deeply to the sounds of birds in your yard, watch a squirrel capture an acorn, spend ten minutes snuggling with your dog. Though you can discover the wonder in anything, connecting with the forces of the natural world is not only pure and easy, it helps align you with your own natural state, which is inherently mystical. Spiritual Apprehension of Truths Intellectually speaking, we can get fixated on what truth really is, and formulate thoughts that lock us in to particular beliefs. Yet truth, like light, can be perceived, experienced, and even manipulated, but can never be grasped in the literal sense. Our mind finds comfort in understanding and containment, helping us feel sure, solid, safe. Mystics are willing to experience the discomfort of uncertainty as they seek truth. The innocence of a child allows each experience or teaching to be taken in as some kind of truth. Through development, understanding and intellect begin to form the information received into perceptions. Discernment allows for rejection of information, whether based on truth or one’s perceptions. Yet, as fallible human beings, our perceptions can become distorted. Therefore, the thoughts we believe may not be completely true. This is okay, unless they limit us, of course. If you are experiencing limitation in your life, your move toward freedom begins with a shift in your perceptions. Most notably, the majority of your untrue perceptions are about yourself! You may even believe you are not a mystic! Whether or not you have consciously taken an oath to obtain unity with the absolute, if you believe in the spiritual apprehension of truths that are beyond the intellect, by definition, you are a mystic!
With access to your mystical power, you become conscious of your perceptions, accept the authority in your choices, and ultimately realize you can define – or not define – what it means to be a mystic.
Are you ready to journey to your mystical self?  Just as we enter the Holy Days in which our souls are trying to remind us that Peace on Earth begins with "me," it seems each week we learn about one violent incident after another! More notably, this violence is unprovoked and being caused by those who should be exemplifying Peace.
As a non-TV owner, I do my best to detach from the darkness of the news. Yet, hearing about some stories cannot be avoided. For years I have grappled with my desire to encompass myself with simplicity and peacefulness, while remaining aware of what is going on just enough for me to make clear and aligned choices for my life and my family. In 2004, my father's youngest brother - who was just five years older than me - was shot in the back and killed by a plain-clothes state officer. My uncle was unarmed. He was Hispanic. He had a mustache, as did the Hispanic man the officer was seeking, though my uncle was several inches shorter than the parolee. I remember telling someone in my community about the incident. She was a white, well-to-do mom who simply asked me, "Why was he running?" From her frame of reference, she couldn't even conceive of how this kind of situation would not be my uncle's fault. I saw she was completely clueless, and it made me feel as if she had no compassion. One of the most valuable aspects of my work - of connecting deeply with others in sessions with them - is I get to experience them in such a way that my compassion and understanding of their limitations (and their unwavering true essence) grows. Personally, I grew up with many human struggles. My family was laced with teen pregnancies, numerous abuses, mental illnesses and addictions, and poverty. In the last decade, I've lost two of my closest cousins to suicide. As a married mother of four, I endured six years of a painful separation from my then-self-destructive husband. As much as I wish I didn't have the heaviness in my biography, it seems these hardships have helped me relate to my clients and compassionately hold space for them. More importantly, however, I trust that my experiences have encouraged me to strive dauntlessly for Peace... in the world, in my family, in me. As we approach the season when we try to sway from the heavily-hyped consumerism and re-kindle our inner light with the true Spirit of the Holy Days, I invite you to welcome in compassion and understanding. From situations you hear on the news, to the person who took your parking spot, to the homeless person at the street corner, take the time to bring them in to your heart. If you can do this for each person, whether "victim" or "aggressor," and feel (or imagine) his or her story, challenges, feelings, fears, hopes and dreams - even for a moment - then you will be creating Peace. It may not always be easy, but it's one of the most courageous acts you can do. With consciousness and loving actions, we can all become Peace on Earth.  Collectively, we are working to align into our Grandness, allowing the energy of Source to easily flow through us, as us - unobstructed. Thus, our energy centers are trying to clear old patterns that kept us from feeling, acting and enjoying grace and ease in our lives. Specifically, the heart and throat are doing much work at this time to open and expand in freedom.
As the throat chakra represents speaking our truth (among other things), shame, should's, loyalty and fear are primary reasons for causing us to suppress our need to express who we are and what we want. Parents tell us who we are and aren't, schools tell us what we should become, and those we spend most of our time with project all kinds of restrictions on us. In order to be kind, correct and comply, we stop speaking our truth. What can one do to open the throat chakra? A simple task is to sing! Whether you feel comfortable with your voice or not, you can find a variety of places and songs to sing. In the shower or car, while cleaning house, for a lullaby, or even at a karaoke bar, allowing yourself to sing with passion and volume can be incredibly healing for the suppressed chakra. Moreover, finding songs that "speak" your truth adds an extra boost of power. Whether you want to proclaim "One Love" along with Bob Marley, or let your voice climb the "Stairway to Heaven" with Led Zeppelin, singing can be a simple step toward self expression and throat chakra expansion.  As we continue on our paths, we are getting clearer and less tolerant of things that do not resonate with our values and our vibration. As such, it makes it nearly impossible to fake our way through the doldrums of have to's.
If you are financially dependent on a particular job which pays you to follow through on those have to's, it's not so easy to veer off the beaten path. For those who are financially secure, choices may seem easier, right? Not necessarily. More attachments can make it difficult to let go. In addition to financial constraints, what about meeting the needs those who depend on us - children, spouses, friends? In this place between living the integrated life you envision and the growing intolerance of your living conditions, it can be hard to keep the faith and keep going. But you can do it! And the energies are expanding to support you! As we continue to evolve we are, collectively, heading toward more joyful, authentic and empowered lives. Little by little you can learn to trust in your ability to create what you desire as you narrow down your list of have to's to really, really have to's. In fact, you'll discover the short list will actually lead you to your new path! In the interim, why not whistle why you work? (Or Sing!) No need to fake anything. Cultivating a sincere "attitude of gratitude" is faith in action, plus it supports you to keep on keepin' on.  Yoga studios seem to be the Starbucks of fitness with new studios popping up in every town on nearly every corner. As well, yoga classes are one of the basic offerings at most gyms.
Whether you can barely touch your toes, think pranayama is a new organic gluten-free dessert, or frequently sweat it out in a hot yoga class, the benefits yoga are far reaching. From head to toe, body to soul, Bhastrika breathing to kumbhaka, yoga offers us strength, discipline, awareness, flexibility, patience, striving, balance and so much more. Over the years I have taken numerous yoga classes, dropped out for a while, and recommitted to my practice when I found my way back. Starting again isn't easy, but I was once reminded by one of my teachers (and my body) that my body retains memory for the poses. More surprising to me, it craves them. Many times I struggled with the breathwork part of the classes and wondered, "Why do they do this?" Over time, my ability to breath deeply and healthily, feel calm and centered using my breath, and expand my lung capacity have given me the answer to that question. If you have never tried Restorative Yoga, I highly recommend it! After 60-90 minutes of resting in these extremely simple poses, I was shocked to wake up pain free the morning after my very first class! No, I don't have any particular issues with pain, but those little aches and daily accumulation of stress-turned-inward simply dissolved. Instead of Starbucks, perhaps this fall you wander into your local yoga studio, pull up a mat, and warm your body with some poses and breathwork. And since you've skipped the caffeine, just try not to fall asleep during Savasana!  Not only are society’s outdated beliefs changing about the “sanctity” of relationships, how we behave and define ourselves in them is also shifting. Whether you were the first one in your family to move in with your sweetheart prior to marriage, or you’ve been in a loving same-sex partnership for decades, or have elected to bow out of monogamous relationships all together, you are likely a completely different person than you were when you had your first date. Over the course of our lives, and particularly during our cosmic shift, our maturity and spiritual evolution have expanded us beyond the parameters of who we thought we were or believed we should be. Not only can this be disconcerting inwardly, it can be strenuous on a relationship. Though all healthy relationships grow and change as the individuals do, the more subtle and profound spiritual transformations we experience can leave us feeling indefinable and, therefore, incapable of upholding our previous roles in our ongoing relationships. Our expectations begin to shift as well, even though we may not be able to articulate our new perspectives to those we endear. Instead, we end up feeling lost and wondering how to relate in ways we barely understand – ways that honor who we are while keeping our loyalty and love intact. Imagine telling your husband, “Honey, I love you dearly, but I need my space to do some deep inner searching. It may take me a year or two, and my intention is to continue to love you, but we’ll see what happens when I emerge. I’ll be sleeping in the room down the hall until then.” Ha! Can you imagine how well that would go over!? Yet, it may be the most honest and important sentence you utter to him as you discover your true self. During this discovery period of “Who am I really?” we may realize that we have always identified ourselves in regards to each of our relationships – daughter or son, sister or brother, friend, companion, beloved, wife or husband, parent, grandparent and so on. What often happens after the dissolution of an important relationship is we redefine who we are. Yet, who we truly are has nothing to do with our relationships. Our true essence experiences our relationships as an exchange of energy and an opportunity to discover “other” and “self” and how the two seemingly separate beings relate. Our essence has no need to have our relationships define us. Our ego, on the other hand, uses relationships as the foundation of its structure. Thus as we embark, consciously or not, on the journey to our essential self one of the most intense shifts we encounter happens in our relationships. At some point, the Universe seems to bring us face-to-face with our beliefs about our identity as reflected in our cherished relationships – not to mention how we behave in them. For example, do you consider yourself a “good partner?” Those two words alone create such strong parameters which are fashioned from our beliefs; beliefs about what each word means individually, as well as when coupled together. Moreover, they are infused with all the stories associated with “good partner” from generations past. If you believe you are a good partner, or want to uphold that commitment, then anything you do that is outside of that structure of beliefs has the potential to shake the foundation of your identity as well as the relationship you want to be a “good partner” in. Once shaken, we begin to question ourselves, our worth, our relationships and fear can set in. From fear the ego goes to fight or flight, right? Arguments erupt, blame flies, hurt happens, and retreats to safety become inevitable. But from what are we really seeking safety? Ironically, as we desperately desire love in each of our relationships, the tenderness its purity offers our hearts can be too intense for our fragile egoic selves. In our efforts to feel safe, we retreat from the love we crave. Yet in our collective awakening, it is true love we are revealing and so begins a deliberate dissolving of the protective ego – a releasing of all the identities of who we thought we were that keep us from experiencing it. So is it possible to release these identities and keep our beloved relationships? Absolutely. Millions of people on the planet are experiencing great inner shifts at this time. If we understand this on a global scale, we realize that our inner currents are ebbing and flowing, to some degree, with the collective tide. Rather than retreating in isolation and fear, we can empower ourselves with self-compassion and make room for ourselves to grow. By giving yourself permission to discover what’s beneath the masks of relationship-defined identities, you will likely need some space, both inwardly and in your relationships. For example, inner space would mean making room for a shift in your beliefs. “How does ‘good’ relate to my life, and what other definitions can it imply for me?” Space in your relationships may mean setting boundaries so you can evaluate how you relate to others and how you let them define you. “What if we choose not to have sex so I can practice retaining my own energy and not fall into the habit of pleasing you?” And what about new relationships? Can they really form healthily in spite of all the changes we are going through? Of course, they can. As each ego identity – or mask – releases, you change and become more of your authentic self. For a moment, imagine yourself spinning round and round at a masquerade ball with a room full of potential partners who are also twirling. The music stops and you find yourself facing another dancer. The two of you instantly connect because you are each wearing similar masks. Perhaps you share a few dances together. Then, the spinning resumes and your mask flies off only to reveal another mask. When the music stops again, what is the likelihood of you facing or finding the same dance partner? It’s possible, but if you are seeking someone whose mask is no longer recognizable or has been lost altogether, it makes the “match game” quite difficult, doesn’t it? Yet, if we seek to connect with those without masks and have released our own, the relations we create are founded on authenticity, rather than superficial matches. As long as we are hooked into relationships that are dependent on another person’s ego-created identity or our projections, we will not only risk the loss of the relationship as we or our partners grow, we are missing a profound opportunity to connect deeply with the other person’s true essence... which is pure Love. More significantly, our masks and projections will keep us from our own essence and experiencing the Love within and around us at all times.
 No, we will not be running an endless marathon, though for many of us it was beginning to feel that was what we signed up for in this life. After years of crumbling, shifting and assimilating into new paradigms, we are surely needing some relief! And, believe it or not, it's here!
By no means are our lives now "perfect", or we as human-spiritual beings are "complete" with all of our "upgrades" and changes, as we are ever evolving! However, the energies have shifted, ever so slightly, into "Ahhhhhh." What does this mean exactly? First, it means nothing... Yep, NO THING. Energetically, the shift has helped us drop into no thing. We are feeling surprisingly freer, lighter and less attached (though there may still be some strings hanging on). Second, with the lightness and "ahhhhhh", comes a feeling of "I think I'm gonna be okay." Again, this may come and go, and we may not even know what triggers it, but the space between the concerns is growing wider and calmer. And lastly, only because I want to keep this short and to the point, there is a solidness within our soul. Though all the answers haven't been discovered, the questions have quieted just a bit, there's more certainty floating around for us to tap in to, and the ability to become fully present seems truly attainable.  What is your relationship with media?
As a media-oriented culture, many don't think twice about the flickering screens in banks, restaurants,salons and now at gas station pumps. In modern society, nearly every living room boasts a television larger than the family portrait, along with several more to enhance each bedroom. And, for convenience, most folks have a hefty array of media devices to fill in all the spaces in between. We compulsively turn on and tune in to the sounds, pictures and stories that emit from these frequency transmitters with very little consciousness. Yet, as our bodies and minds expand to harmonize with more refined states of consciousness, it is natural to want to align with resonant frequencies, and many times the information offered by the media broadcasters isn't compatible with who we truly are... with Love Consciousness. Instead of automatically filling your home and energy field with media, perhaps you pause and ask, "What truly resonates with me? What do I want to experience right now?" If you are bored and "need stimulation," be willing to discover what kind of activity might engage your body and senses to awaken. If you wish to "just relax and veg-out," then maybe sitting on the front porch watching the sunset is a blissful option. Start to pay attention to how you fill up the sacred spaces in which you place yourself and learn to make more mindful decisions about your allowance of media into your space. Though you may experience initial pangs of media withdrawal, your true self will thank you for doing so! Just when we think we have an area of our lives dialed in, some spiritual guru will remind us, “the only constant is change.” Even if our ducks aren’t exactly in a row, the thought of change will often ruffle our mama-duck feathers as we worry about a whole host of “what if’s.” Our steadfast egos like constant constant, not constant change! But, alas, we are ever-evolving, ever-shifting; physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. The transformations may be great or miniscule, but they are always there moving us along our journey of life. As humans, there are times when our changes are so great that we clearly identify and acknowledge them. Physically speaking, our major transitions are the touchpoints of our development. Everything you want to know about What to Expect When You’re Expecting, Your Growing Child, Adolescent Development, and Aging Well can be answered in a multitude of books. Emotional people, like children, can go from laughter to tears in a matter of minutes, then bounce right back to joy. Those who aren’t as fluid in their emotional bodies may not experience such extremes, but their subtleties can feel equally stirring to them. Then there are our varying thoughts! Like flashes of lightening, sometimes we seek them out to illuminate us with their brightness. Other times we long for quietude in the endless, thunderous rumbling in our minds. Although the soul is timeless and infinite, our human selves experience spiritual changes that affect our lives just as profoundly as the material ones, if not more so. For most people, these shifts may not be easy to identify, much less understand. What can be confusing is that our spiritual development can cause fear, anxiety and feelings of isolation. Rather than feeling bliss or oneness, as one might expect, we can find ourselves experiencing apathy and frustration toward everything. It can be heartening to learn that these experiences, as we shift spiritually, are quite typical. Imagine starting your first period, or experiencing your first “wet dream,” without anyone telling you that this was a normal part of adolescent development. Knowing that we are experiencing something that is common not only reduces our anxiety, it opens the door to connecting with others who have experienced the same thing. Like learning about our sexual development from our adolescent friends, sometimes we can be misinformed about our spiritual development, which only causes more anxiety. Similar to the boy who wants to boast about his sexual (usually fantasy) experiences to impress his friends, spiritual teachers (who are often seeking clients) will share how wonderful their lives are, and how everything came together when they learned mindfulness, to manifest, to control their thoughts, how to connect with their angel guides, and so on. Rarely will the stories of impotency, pain, awkwardness and dissatisfaction come forth isolating those who’ve had such experiences. Today there are masses of people experiencing major shifts into higher states of consciousness as our collective belief in our separation from our spiritual Source dissolves. As a result, phrases such as the “New Age” or “The Shift” have merged into mainstream culture. We have witnessed an explosion of resources related to our spiritual evolution. Books such as A New Earth and the Conversations With God series have given millions of people a new perspective. The list of spiritually-focused movies, YouTube videos and websites grows exponentially as people seek to understand and participate in our collective movement to become enlightened, whatever the individual’s spiritual path or practice may be. Since most of the resources are aimed to reach the awakening masses, the information can feel elementary or incomplete to the highly evolved soul. Most spiritual seekers have come to the conscious awareness that we actively participate in the unfoldment of our lives. They recognize that we aren’t just victims of life’s whims and woes, with a certain and unwavering destiny ahead of us. Those who have discovered “The Secret” have heartily experimented with positive thoughts with varying degrees of success. Understanding that life still happens, seekers who have developed a conscious relationship with their spirituality soon realize that there isn’t a panacea out there, so have learned to gather an array of tools to cultivate their spiritual growth and happiness. Yet, it’s important to note that our current spiritual evolution includes the emergence of many masters and mystics. And, as odd as it may seem, some of these lightbearers have yet to see, believe or embrace their significant spiritual part in the upliftment of humanity’s consciousness. Unaware, these masters and mystics look and act like the rest of us, but have grown bored of the pursuit of happiness, become disinterested in spiritual seeking, and perhaps have lost their ability to manifest. They are wise beyond books, have felt “different” from the time they were young, and have guided people in some way most of their lives. Whether or not they are aware of their role, they are experiencing higher states of spiritual development as the collective continues to expand. As such, these experiences of disconnection, disinterest, and not desiring to fully recognize who they are is a very normal part of their journey. It is prompting them to do something… to step in to who they really are! These masters have walked a long, often hard, and conscious road across many lifetimes and dimensions and they are getting weary and/or bored. They have released much along the way – belief systems, excuses, negative behaviors, and limiting perspectives – yet they still grapple with their seeming imperfections. They feel an unidentifiable restlessness in their souls. As human-spiritual beings, we are ready to expand and experience our whole selves more fully, which includes our spiritual development. And, similar to physical growth, most people experience major changes in their lives as they move from one stage to another. Moving into the stage of awakening to your masterhood (regardless of practical spiritual study) or your mysticism (even if you don’t yet recognize your powers) can be uncomfortable and a somewhat lonely. It can poke at your feelings of unworthiness, even though you know you have good self-esteem.
 As 2014 continues to guide us to become more of who we truly are, we will likely find ourselves less tolerant of people, situations and energies that are not us. That's a good thing. And, in all honesty, it can be quite uncomfortable.
For one, if you are used to feeling love and kindness toward all, or have an easy-going personality, it can be quite alarming to feel disdain toward another person you used to tolerate. As well, feelings of apathy may well up and suddenly you think, "Me? How am I supposed to help in this mess of a world that's been created?" Maybe you're a go-getter and your feel you've lost your umph, or direction, or wonder if there really is a purpose to anything. What's more ironic, is you may not even feel "bad" about "feeling bad" which can really be confusing! "Geez! Someone must have disconnected my heart!," you worry. In actuality, your heart is opening! Remember that "this too shall pass" as you experience your intolerance. In fact, go deeper into the experience. Breathe in the unwillingness to expose yourself to ways that no longer serve you. Welcome your intolerance of a world that is out of balance and infused with negativity. Feel your commitment to yourself and humanity as you vow, "No more!" |
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